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-Short Attention Span Theater-
Police Captain Charged With Assaulting Husband
2005-10-18
Baltimore County police have charged a Howard County police captain with two counts of first degree assault on her husband.
"Stick 'em up, chief!"
Police charging documents show that Tara Nelson and her husband got into an argument last Saturday at their Woodstock home. Nelson's husband told police the two were fighting over some receipts she found in the car for dinner and a hotel stay.
"It's Marsha again, isn't it, John? Dinner for two at Arby's and the Motel 6! How could you!"
"Now, honey...!"
The documents show that Nelson then got into her vehicle and ran over her husband's motorcycle several times.
"No! Not the Harley!"
The victim says the suspect also tried to run him over in the driveway of the family's home.
"Okay! Run over the Harley! I'm gettin' outta here!"
The charging documents also show that Captain Nelson's husband claims his wife put her service weapon to his head to force him to sign a contract to sell their house.
"Okay. I'll sign! I'll sign!"
"Maybe Marsha will take you in!"
"Not with the Harley gone!"
The suspect told the investigating officer that her husband has mental problems.
"Nope. Nope. Never happened. He's nutz!"
"Then what happened to the Harley, chief?"
Captain Tara Nelson is the head of the Howard County Police Department's Criminal Investigation Bureau.
"Don't you guys worry about it! I'm on the case!"
Posted by:Fred

#9  Guy sounds like maybe he's a terror jones.
Posted by: Shipman   2005-10-18 18:11  

#8  What kind of idiot cheats on a wife who has a Suv?
Posted by: JFM   2005-10-18 16:44  

#7  What kind of idiot cheats on a wife who carries a gun to work?
Posted by: Steve   2005-10-18 16:22  

#6  Sorry bigjim, but in this day and age, how do you know it was his 'girl friend'? and he wasn't?
Posted by: Slolutch Glith4065   2005-10-18 16:08  

#5  Recipts for a dinner and hotel, that will set it off.
Posted by: Sock Puppet O´ Doom   2005-10-18 15:48  

#4  What kind of dimwit thinks he can cheat on his police chief wife? Whudda maroon.
Posted by: Zenster   2005-10-18 15:30  

#3  What kind of retard takes his girlfriend out and puts it on his credit card? Cash, man, get cash next time!
Posted by: bigjim-ky   2005-10-18 13:31  

#2  My favorite quote from Howard Stern circa several years ago: "My wife won't let me date..."
Posted by: Seafarious   2005-10-18 13:07  

#1  Wives, why do they hate us?
Posted by: Steve   2005-10-18 12:58  

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