#6 To die for:
RECIPES FROM THE ELDERS OF ZION COOKBOOK:
SABBATH BREAD WITH ARAB INFANT PLASMA
This is a recipe my grandmother taught me. I have beloved memories of holding a squirming, mouth-watering Arab infant while gramms sharpened the butcher knives & told us colorful tales about the shtetl. This is a wonderful bread to make because the dough turns a lovely rose-pink & perfumes the house with the infinite melancholy of vanquished glory.
NOTE: if you have pets, keep them locked up. It's heartbreaking to be setting out your ingredients, only to look outside & see the dog playing Frisbee with your leavening. Ingredients:
1 Arab infant, ripe, not too gamey
Oil, preferably Halutza
Dead Sea salt
Eggs
Good quality flour
Kosher honey
Poppy seeds for crust
Any large Jewish community will have an Arab infant provider. When in doubt, ask your local rabbi, although he'll probably take a cut. If you have a coupon, so much the better. However, this is the one & ONLY time you must not go for the cheapest deal.
My friend Cloris, the proctologist's wife, always bragged about her dirt-cheap Arab infant connection. Well, her Sabbath bread tasted like goat chow. Turns out, the guy was passing her Guatemalan babies! Like I really want epazote in my Sabbath bread!! OY VEY.
Your supplier will usually offer you an assortment. Handy pocket guide:
TURKEY: AAK! Not Arab! Do not use unless you have a thing for grease & gas!
LIBYA: Strong Old World stock, can be a handful. Keep mallet handy
MOROCCO: Bit briny, sharp as a Beaujolais when fresh
SAUDI ARABIA : Quality much degraded. Season liberally.
GAZA: Cheap, runty, poor quality. Tough & stringy. Pound first.
RAMALLAH: Adequate, affordable. One less suicide bomber to worry about.
BEDOUIN: Exquisite, expensive. For special occasions. NOTE: Make sure it's real Bedouin & not cheap Sicilian knock-off.
SYRIA: Excellent smoked over camel dung
EGYPT: Pickle in vinegar first to remove odor
IRAQ: Excellent & plentiful! Do your part to rebuild the economy of Iraq!
IRAN: NOT Arab. Does make healthful smoothie with tamarind, paraffin, & anchovies
Of course, I needn't tell you not to waste the discards. Use them for a nourishing soup stock, sausage fillers, or throw them on the compost pile, & your daffodils will be the envy of the neighborhood. Or cook down the remains, stir with honey, & use as face cream. SHABBAT SHALOM!
:)
HT: http://www.beautifulatrocities.com/ |
The success of Palestinian elections in January could hinge on whether Israel allows people to vote freely in Jerusalem, Mahmoud Abbas, the Palestinian president, said. Parliamentary elections will be held on 25 January, but officials visiting Rome said it was not clear if Israel would allow Palestinians to vote in Jerusalem, which is under Israeli control. Abbas, at the end of a two-day visit to Italy, said on Saturday: "If we can't hold democratic elections in Jerusalem it will be difficult to do it in the other zones. At that point Israel will be responsible for the block of the democratic process in Palestine.