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Arabia
Saudis seek Fatwa on stoning devil
2006-01-18
Al-aska Paul, are you up to this?
SAUDI authorities are looking for Fatwa from scholars around the world concerning working out a new method for the symbolic stoning of the devil.

In a bid to avoid any deadly stampedes in future, the latest of which claimed the lives of 363 people last week, the authorities also unveiled plans to replace the current Jamarat passage with a 10-level structure, to ensure the safety of pilgrims on this site where incidents over the years marred one of the five pillars of Islam.
"Step right up! New and improved stoning of the devil to your right! Devil-stoning stones, SR1 each. Show us how holy you are, and don't throw like girls!"
According to Maj-Gen Eng. Mansour Al Turki, spokesman of the Saudi Ministry of Interior, the planned 10 levels would be built in the next 10 years. The first four will be completed within the next two years. Workers have reportedly begun work soon after the last day of Haj, tearing down a platform at the Jamarat on orders from Custodian of the Two Holy Mosques King Abdullah bin Abdulaziz in order to rebuild it with better access to prevent deadly stampedes.

The Al Jamarat platform, where three pillars representing the devil are located, will be rebuilt with one underground level and four 100-metre wide ramps that can accommodate 250,000 pilgrims per hour, said Osama Al Bar, Head of Haj Research Centre. There will be 12 entrances and 12 exits. The current site has just two levels, including one 80-metre wide ramp leading to a platform from which pilgrims pelt stones at the pillars.
They'll stone the devil from an underground level?
On Thursday, some 600,000 pilgrims were squeezed in at the ramp when about a dozen people stumbled over baggage, tripping others behind them and causing the deadly crush. The disaster happened as pilgrims flocked to the Jamarat Bridge in Mina to hurl stones at a pillar representing the devil.

He said the construction, which aims at both preventing accidents and accommodate the expected increase in pilgrims, would be completed within two years. Other improvements being made include multiple vehicle tunnels to facilitate traffic flow and a landing area for helicopters that might be required to rush in medical aid.

Haj Minister Fouad Al Farsy thanked King Abdullah for sanctioning the SR4 billion project. The first phase of the project , which is a four-floor facility, will allow 500,000 pilgrims to perform the ritual in one hour. This will accommodate three to five million pilgrims per year. This year around three million pilgrims performed haj.
Posted by:Steve White

#25  what's the criteria?

The same as it always has been throughout history, DB; The size of your stones.
Posted by: Zenster   2006-01-18 23:25  

#24  This is a 12-story group access block combining classical devil-stoning features with the efficiency of modern fatwas. The pilgrims arrive here and are carried along the corridor on a conveyor belt with extreme piety, past murals depicting Arabic scenes, towards the rotating tramplers. The last twenty feet of the ramp is heavily soundproofed. The blood pours down these chutes and the trampled flesh slurps into these …

Excuse me.

Yes? ..............

Posted by: Zenster   2006-01-18 23:22  

#23  Is it just me, or did anyone else think of Dante's Inferno (the book, not the party club) with the different levels all leading down to....the devil at the bottom?

How do they assign who gets what level, anyway? Money, how "sinful" you are, what's the criteria?
Posted by: Desert Blondie   2006-01-18 23:04  

#22  Couldn't this be done on the web?

Hm. A .com for .com?

1. Virtual Stones
2. ...
3. Profit!!
Posted by: KBK   2006-01-18 23:03  

#21  Zenster, those bottom levels would be designated "Group W" in that case? ;-)
Posted by: trailing wife   2006-01-18 22:18  

#20  Shit. Why spoil a good thing? This has been going just fine for hundreds of years. We can count on these dumb asses stomping several hundred to death each year, as it is. I laugh for days every time it happens.
Posted by: SOP35/Rat   2006-01-18 21:56  

#19  I'll bet the bin Laden Group gets the contract.

Construction, maybe. Disney'll get the oprations contract.
Posted by: Pappy   2006-01-18 20:37  

#18  much simpler... forget about the ramps. Change pebbles to AK47's (in far greater abundance in the neighbourhood than stones) or suicide belts. Why should the 3 stone devils get softer treatment the the Greater and Lesser Satans?

2 ramps - facing each other and everybody takes home 76 virgins. The details, of course, lie in the Cleaning Detail.

The Haj - a once in alifetime trip.
Posted by: Hupomoger Clans9827   2006-01-18 19:43  

#17  ... underground level and four 100-metre wide ramps that can accommodate 250,000 pilgrims per hour,... towards the rotating knives.
Posted by: Xbalanke   2006-01-18 18:17  

#16  Rather simple, really, 3dc. Adulterers, political prisoners and rapist stabbers will all be assigned tethered positions on the lowest floors in order to make best use of those errant missiles.
Posted by: Zenster   2006-01-18 15:53  

#15  Call me dense but 10 levels would let a missed rock reach near terminal velocity as it arcs downward. The folk on the lower levels are going to be creamed by all the rocks heading their way.

Posted by: 3dc   2006-01-18 15:36  

#14  mmmmm pancakes!
Posted by: Rachel Corrie   2006-01-18 15:02  

#13  My guess is that the 10 level stoning platform will end up not supporting the weight of 250,000 eager devil hating rock tossers and... well, you know.
Posted by: tu3031   2006-01-18 15:00  

#12  I envision a sort of multi-tier golf driving range sort of devil-stoning structure. Despite all sorts of advance civil engineering and all the fatwas in the world, I'm also confident they'll still figure out some way to trample the sh!t out of each other.
Posted by: Zenster   2006-01-18 14:53  

#11  Won't make any difference, devil stoning infractruce (DSI) adheres to the same rules has offices, closets and hard-drives.
Posted by: Crease Slolung3988   2006-01-18 14:24  

#10  Spot on, Spot!
Posted by: Inspector Clueso   2006-01-18 13:53  

#9  Maybe they could try the "Fatwas Are Us" stall down at the bazaar. They have a great selection and good prices.
Posted by: Spot   2006-01-18 13:32  

#8  write "USA" on the pillar representing the devil

And God got so pissed that he trampled 244 of them to death .
Posted by: ed   2006-01-18 10:14  

#7  Yeah, but will they still write "USA" on the pillar representing the devil, like they did in 2004? I'm so confused!
Posted by: anonymous5089   2006-01-18 10:01  

#6  Your, sheesh. PIMF.
Posted by: .com   2006-01-18 09:32  

#5  Heh, Nimble. You post immediately brought to mind the Dune term for nukes, stone burner...
Posted by: .com   2006-01-18 09:31  

#4  SAUDI authorities are looking for Fatwa from scholars around the world concerning working out a new method for the symbolic stoning of the devil.

Invite Ahmadinejad.
Posted by: Nimble Spemble   2006-01-18 09:26  

#3  They stone the devil in arabic. In english, they tell us they are negotiating.
Posted by: PlanetDan   2006-01-18 08:01  

#2  I'll bet the bin Laden Group gets the contract.

"250,000 pilgrims per hour"

It's a number game. "C'mon, throw, already! The bus is waiting!"

YJCMTSU.
Posted by: .com   2006-01-18 02:36  

#1  We can't be so lucky to use the Iranians for contractors?
Posted by: anonymous2u   2006-01-18 00:38  

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