(Fire Island, NY) -- The Right Reverend Percy Dovetonsils III, Bishop Suffragan for the Diocese of Fire Island, Provincetown and San Francisco, today called for the beheading of the entire editorial staff of Catholic Monthly for publishing a cartoon in which Jesus of Nazareth is depicted as being the "Son of God."
The cartoon, published in the October 12, 2005 edition of the magazine, and titled "Jesus Raising Lazarus from the Dead," shows a halo-crowned Jesus miraculously bringing Lazarus back to life. In contemporary Episcopalian theology, all references to religion, miracles, holiness, God, and the Bible are considered to be blasphemous -- distracting believers from more important religious priorities such as promoting same-sex marriage and voting rights for illegal immigrants.
"The pictorial representation of the alleged divinity of the notorious Jewish political leader variously known as Jesus, the Son of Man, and the Son of God is deeply offensive to all progressive-minded Episcopalians," said Bishop Dovetonsils this morning at the annual Solidarity Breakfast of the anti-1st Amendment lobbying group, Episcopalians Against Christianity. Bishop Dovetonsils, wearing a stunning mauve DKNY robe and mitre designed by LaCroix, then said that it was the duty of all Episcopalians to heed the call to jihad as long as they can work it around political marches, cocktails at the country club, and their weekly squash games. |