Venezuela begins training a vast army of civilian reserves today to fight off the attack its Left-wing president, Hugo Chavez, says the United States is plotting against it. The oil-rich state aims to teach up to two million volunteers, from the unemployed to office workers, shop assistants and housewives, basic military skills such as marching in step or shooting to kill. If it reaches that size, the force will be the largest civilian reserve army in the Americas, double the size of Washington's reserves.
| Remember Sammy's 7 million man Quds Army? That worked well, didn't it? Being experienced, apparently, only with South American armies, Hugo doesn't understand this, but (at the risk of repeating myself): There's a difference between a soldier and a man with a gun. A well-trained and well-led army will beat the rabble waving guns 10 times out of 10. |
 Its creation will further inflame relations between Venezuela and the US, already characterised by insults and tit-for-tat expulsions of diplomats. Mr Chavez, a former paratrooper, has warned repeatedly that the "imperialist enemy" will attempt to crush his socialist revolution in this enormous South American country, which supplies the US with 15 per cent of its oil.
| And it looks from here like he's intent on making that happen. |
At one military parade Mr Chavez, first elected in 1998, called on his countrymen to prepare for an "assymetric war" against the world's most powerful nation. "If somebody meddles with Venezuela, they'll repent for 100 centuries," he said. "If we have to fight a war to defend this country, we'll make blood flow."
| In the normal course of business, U.S. officials mention Venezuela about once every six months or so. Hugo's indulging his delusions of adequacy. He's trying to build the U.S. as the bogeyman to keep the rubes in line. We're distracted by much more important things than another tin-hat dictator at the moment, but at some point we won't be. |
Many see the populist leader's warnings as just more of his rabble rousing, anti-American rhetoric. Donald Rumsfeld, the US defence secretary, has dismissed any idea of an attack on Venezuela as "ridiculous".
| It is at the moment. If Hugo keeps traveling the road he's taken it won't be. |
But what began as a war of words is escalating into a more serious confrontation. For example, Mr Chavez has been buying military hardware, including Russian helicopters, 100,000 AK-47 rifles and Brazilian and Spanish equipment he says Venezuela needs to defend itself.
In response the US warned this week that Venezuela's creeping militarisation could destabilise Latin America, setting for the recent election of a string of Left-wing leaders. John Negroponte, the US national intelligence director, also sounded the alarm at Venezuela's forging of "economic, military and diplomatic ties with Iran and North Korea". These are both members of what the Bush administration has denounced as "axis of evil" regimes suspected of sponsoring terrorism and with an unhealthy interest in weapons of mass destruction.
| And Hugo's obviously decided which side he's on. |
Mr Chavez claims Venezuela, along with Brazil and Cuba form an "axis of good", united against President George W Bush, the "world's only terrorist". He has even threatened to stop oil supplies to the US. "I will sting those who rattle me, so don't mess with me, Condoleezza," he said recently, blowing a mock kiss to the US secretary of state, Condoleezza Rice.
| Condoleeza could end up messing with him.By the time he's worked his way up the list of clear and present dangers she'll likely be president. She may not have a lot of patience for cliche South American dictators, no matter how gaudy their sashes. |
Such strident defiance of the world superpower, seen by many as a bully which has economically raped and pillaged the region for decades, has made Mr Chavez hugely popular.
| Gee. Golly. Gosh. I wonder what the Telegraph's opinion is of the U.S.? |
In the grimy, litter-strewn capital Caracas his face beams out from posters whipping up national pride and warning the gringos: "Watch out, Latin America is coming."
| Wow. 20-foot posters. That's never been done before, has it? |
"The people stand firm with their Commander," one poster reads, with Mr Chavez, known by his supporters as El Commandante, giving a military salute.
"Chavez is the people" reads the slogan under another Che Guevara-like image. Willing "Chavistas" (supporters of the president) are queuing up to enlist in the new reserve force. Many believe their main mission will be more social than military, providing assistance to the poor and first aid in emergencies.
| They'll also be used as bully boys to suppress any real freedom... |
Many work for the state and some have met informally for months, marching without weapons around car parks and sports grounds, their group leaders calling themselves sergeants and colonels and wearing T-shirts saying "Combatant of the Revolution".
| Betcha that gets 'em lots of chicks, too... |
During their training over the next five months, they have been told they will be drilled to be "mentally and physically prepared" for all kinds of attack. In return they will receive a monthly income of about 16,000 Bolivares (£4.30) and in some cases, social benefits including free clothes and shoes.
| Sounds an awful lot like the SA... |
"Venezuela is changing, Latin America is changing and America does not like it," said Alfredo Carquez, who signed up as a reservist in January. "We are not aggressive but we have to be ready to defend ourselves. If I have to, I'm ready to use a gun to defend the people."
| Alfredo's little corner of Latin America is merely reverting to type. I have no idea why they're so enamored of men on horseback. Maybe it's in the genes. |
Another recent recruit who combines his new role with a day job at a state-owned oil firm, said: "Until very recently, the military anywhere in Latin America was associated with oppression, dictatorship and murder. But now we are learning that military can be on the side of the people."
| Looking forward to a bit of murder, rape and mayhem of his own, is he? |
But many Venezuelans see Mr Chavez, not the US, as the real threat. They are increasingly afraid the civilian reserves will be used to intimidate and, if necessary, suppress the opposition as he campaigns to win six more years in power later this year.
A message written in the dusty window of a Caracas van sent a silent plea to the US not to invade but to rescue the Venezuelans from their maverick leader. "We are counting on you, Condoleezza. Intervene, please." |