 Before cops threw the book at him, Jakub Fik threw something unusual at them -- his penis. | Now there's something you don't see every day |
Fik, 33, cut off his own penis during a Northwest Side rampage Wednesday morning. When confronted by police, Fik hurled several knives and his severed organ at the officers, police said. Officers stunned him with a Taser and took him into custody. "We took him out without any serious injury, with the exception of his own," said Chicago Police Sgt. Edward Dolan of the 16th District.
| I'd say that one was injury enough... |
Doctors at Northwestern Memorial Hospital reattached Fik's penis Wednesday, sources said.
| your tax dollars at work, I suspect. oh well, it was good practice for some surgery resident. |
| "Now, leave it on this time! I don't want to have to do this every week!" |
He was listed in good condition Thursday, according to hospital spokesman Andrew Buchanan, who declined to comment further.
| "I'm not going to touch this, er, comment." |
Fik, who lives in the 5400 block of W. Berenice, is charged with two counts of aggravated assault and one count of assault with a dead weapon
assault with a deadly appendage |
criminal damage to property, said Officer Laura Kubiak. He told paramedics he was distraught over problems with his girlfriend in Poland, Dolan said.
| He thought he had problems with her before he cut off his doinker! |
Police arrived on Fik's block at 8:20 a.m. Wednesday after receiving reports he was smashing car windows, Dolan said. Fik then broke into a house down the block. A group of six or seven officers assembled in front of the house, Dolan said. The occupants were not home, he added.
| "Hey, Bob! You'll never guess what happened to your house while you were out!" |
Fik was bleeding when the officers arrived and may have already cut off his organ, Dolan said. "At that point, this guy came running out, naked, with a handful of knives
| and that's when we thought that maybe there was a problem here |
. . . and started throwing knives at the police officers that were 10, 20, 30 feet away," Dolan said. Fik threw his penis during the confrontation, too, Dolan said.
He then went back into the house and re-emerged with "another handful of knives," Dolan said. Dolan sneaked to the side of the bungalow's front steps and stunned Fik with the Taser.
Fik fought back when officers went to restrain him, Dolan said. "About 10 feet from the front porch, right on the sidewalk, was his penis," Dolan said.
| "Muldoon! Don't step on [SQUISH!] that!" |
Dr. Greg Bales, associate professor of urology at the University of Chicago, said severed penises are uncommon but surgery usually works.
| "At least they don't fall off again and you can run water through them. As for the rest..." |
"As long as the penis is placed on ice and reattached within a few hours, the success is usually pretty good," Bales said.
| but we don't recommend you try this at home .... |
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