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Home Front: Politix
John Kerry: NYC Gone by 2036
2006-03-17
Failed presidential candidate John Kerry offered a startling prediction Friday morning: If the U.S. doesn't change its global warming ways, New York City and Boston will be destroyed by flooding by 2036.
"And there goes our biggest block of voters!"
"I can say to an absolute certainty," Kerry told radio host Don Imus, "that if things stay exactly as they are today absent some unpredictable change in what's going on, within the next 30 years the Arctic ice sheet is gone. "Not maybe, not if - the Arctic ice sheet is gone," the Massachusetts Democrat insisted, before offering his hair-raising prediction.

"Already you have the Greenland ice sheet beginning to melt . . . If that melts, you have a level of sea level increase that wipes out Boston Harbor, New York Harbor - I mean, it's just stunning what we're looking at."
John's been in AlGore's stash again

Kerry blamed the Bush administration's environmental policies for the coming destruction of New York and Boston. "Europe and the other countries are responding," he told Imus. "The United States remains oblivious - at least the administration remains oblivious."

Despite the dire warning, Kerry hasn't done much to change his own global warming ways. At last report, he and his wife still owned several SUV's, a gas guzzling yacht, five BTU gobbling homes and a private jet. Like fellow environmentalist RFK, Jr., Kerry continues to withold his support for the proposed construction of a wind farm in the waters off Nantucket, where he and his wife own a mansion.
Posted by:Steve

#37  Yup, that ice melting at the South Pole won't get up to the North Atlantic - it's such a long distance, ya' know. ;-p

Not only that, but it's uphill all the way!
Posted by: SteveS   2006-03-17 23:39  

#36  Baba Tutu --- sheezzzzz, I'd completely forgotten about the "swine flu." What scary day's those were. Someone else got some history of this? I remember the "scare" of the swine flu..... but forget the details....

Oh dear, and they say, "short term memory goes first" ... but swine flu is a long term memory!
Posted by: Sherry   2006-03-17 23:23  

#35  According to Billy Joel, it's supposed to happen in 2017:


I've seen the lights go out on Broadway
I saw the mighty skyline fall
The boats were waiting at the battery
The union went on strike
They never sailed at all

They sent a carrier out from Norfolk
And picked the Yankees up for free
They said that Queens could stay
And blew the Bronx away
And sank Manhattan out at sea
Posted by: Eric Jablow   2006-03-17 22:47  

#34  I scanned all 33 comments and you all missed it. If it DOES happen, he's a genius. (Yes, extremely unlikely, but you gotta cover all da bases!)

If it doesn't happen, Kerry and Gore SAVED us! Either way, he's a HERO!!!!

Is 2036 an election year?
Posted by: Bobby   2006-03-17 22:27  

#33  He left out the part where afterwards it all freezes and then the wolves attack ...
Posted by: DMFD   2006-03-17 22:11  

#32  Baba Tutu - no, he has no concept of the word "shame."

And yes, I remember the impending ice age in the 1970's.

Am I the only one who has noticed that "global warming" started about the same time the EPA came into being?

Just sayin', 's all.
Posted by: Barbara Skolaut   2006-03-17 21:52  

#31  I say, build New Orleans on a barge out in the mud flats. When global warming brings up the sea level, let her float around, and park it near high ground.

Start building barges in Boston and Martha's Vineyard and put Kerry's and Teddy's mansions on them and shove em out to sea.
Posted by: Alaska Paul   2006-03-17 21:49  

#30  Save us, John Kerry, save us!!! We repent for electing the destroyer of cities! We will cover ourselves in sackcloth and ashes, if only you will lead us away from the darkness!

I'm sure the Senator will call Henny Penny and Foxy Loxy before his committee as expert witnesses.

Anyone else old enough to remember back in the seventies when we were all supposed to perish in the coming ice age? By then, of course, the swine flu would have wiped half of us out anyway.

Mr. Senator, as we cannot get three meteorologists to agree what the weather will be during rush hour tomorrow, how can you sure what it will like in thirty years? Or are you perhaps desperately seeking attention by barking out of your nether regions? Honestly, Senator, at long last, have you no shame?
Posted by: Baba Tutu   2006-03-17 21:31  

#29  When it starts up Jackson's horse's leg at Stone Mtn..... ya might wanna think about redeployment BA.
Posted by: Besoeker   2006-03-17 21:13  

#28  Oops, I think the UN's number is the ADDITIONAL rise in sea level just due to man's supposed influence. Even at 3-4 inches/century, we still have 300,000+ years!
Posted by: BA   2006-03-17 21:12  

#27  At the numbers we've seen in reality, this may happen, but something like in the year 203,600. I mean, even the UN papers supposedly say their projections are that it'll rise like an additional 1/2 inch over the next century if we keep at our current pace. That means even us here in Atlanta (elevation 780-something) are safe for something like another 18,720 freakin' CENTURIES (1,872,000 years). Not really close to 2036 in my mind.
Posted by: BA   2006-03-17 21:11  

#26  Meet you at the Golden Bee for a nice pint of Guinness Patriot.
Posted by: Besoeker   2006-03-17 20:05  

#25  Sitting here in Colorado Springs at an elevation of 6124 feet above CURRENT sea level, I'm not much worried about global warming. If it actually happens (manmade or natural), it will reduce the UV effect at this altitude, and reduce the risk for skin cancer. So a bunch of idjits will have to move to the Adirondacks and to New Hampshire - it'll be GOOD for them to breate some REAL air for a change. Good riddance.
Posted by: Old Patriot   2006-03-17 20:01  

#24  There isssss no undermine in Manhattan, the Canary Islandsssss or Denver International. Move along. All is well.
Posted by: 6   2006-03-17 19:51  

#23  there would be constant infiltration, so, Discovery sweeps week hype aside, it should either have a gradual land/building settlement, or brackish water in the drinking water, either a heads-up they done pumped too much too fast...No drastic surprises in today's day/age. Such a cavern/aquifer would be thoroughly mapped via seismic (explosives) mapping
Posted by: Frank G   2006-03-17 19:45  

#22  ROFL, DB!

Ya' gots a point. ;-p
Posted by: Barbara Skolaut   2006-03-17 19:40  

#21  Well, I remember it suggesting that there was a huge undermine, basically a giant cave, under the island, possibly with its rubble being flushed into the Hudson Valley trench.

I gather that there is such an undermine in the Canary Islands, and if it collapsed, ironically, it could cause a super tidal wave to hit the US East coast, including NYC.
Posted by: Anonymoose   2006-03-17 19:09  

#20  you're talking saltwater intrusion (a real problem in Gaza/So. Israel) - the freshwater water table is overpumped, and the soil is porous enough to allow saltwater intrusion to fill teh voids. Slippage? No. Typically it leads to brackish and salty water unusable as potable or irrigating crops.
(whew! Got my answer in before Alaska Paul kicked in with a helluva lot more knowledge on the subject)
Posted by: Frank G   2006-03-17 18:21  

#19  Here's a question: a long time ago I read something to the effect that NYC has been severely undermined by the Atlantic, so much so that deep inland, some deep drill holes will give salt water. The speculation was that some part of the island could just spontaneously slip into the ocean.

Most likely nonsense, but curious.
Posted by: Anonymoose   2006-03-17 18:10  

#18  With all his wife's money, you'd think he could afford better meds.

Barbara, you assume Kerry suffers from insanity. I don't think so....I think he rather enjoys it.

Besides, he'd rather spend her $ on Botox.
Posted by: Desert Blondie   2006-03-17 17:48  

#17  I'm actually embarrassed for Kerry. What an elitist doofus.
Posted by: Frank G   2006-03-17 17:32  

#16  

Coming soon!
Manhattan Marine Park
World's Largest Water Park!
Open Memorial Day Weekend, 2036

Posted by: Dar   2006-03-17 16:49  

#15  

Wait a minute... Hans Blix is late to the General Assembly. His speech is critical on those WMDs. Call out the scuba divers!
Posted by: BigEd   2006-03-17 16:30  

#14  Considering the politicians that the Boston area has been fielding, I feel inclined to burn some extra fossil fuels up here on my 460-foot-elevation perch.
Posted by: Darrell   2006-03-17 16:10  

#13  Didn't the Gulf Stream pump fail cuz of the global warming cooling warming, hell, cuz Maurice stole the handle?

We'll hafta convert tankers.
Posted by: Glirong Whong8693   2006-03-17 15:45  

#12  New York City and Boston

already Blue states..BFD
Posted by: RD   2006-03-17 15:41  

#11  ROFL, 6.

Yup, that ice melting at the South Pole won't get up to the North Atlantic - it's such a long distance, ya' know. ;-p


I know I'm preaching to the choir, but somebody has to say it: Kerry is a fucking moron!

With all his wife's money, you'd think he could afford better meds.
Posted by: Barbara Skolaut   2006-03-17 15:31  

#10  Almost all ice near the South Pole is on top of land. Luckily it's very remote so it's unlikely all that new melted water would effect the North Atlantic.

/1 thin dime to see the Egress.
Posted by: 6   2006-03-17 15:14  

#9  I'm going to enjoy my Virginia oranges.
Posted by: Steve White   2006-03-17 15:13  

#8  Didn't someone post here about the 2 poles and how one really won't affect ocean levels because the majority of ice is already underwater, taking up more room than the liquid form would?

The northern ice cap is floating. The Greenland sheet is on land, and theoretically would raise sea levels, but all the disaster theories are crap. The world has had warmer climates before -- much warmer than any of the predictions -- and oddly, humanity did just fine.
Posted by: Robert Crawford   2006-03-17 14:54  

#7  All I know is that The Day After Tomorrow everything goes straight to shit up there. How're those Mexican Invasion plans coming?
Posted by: Glirong Whong8693   2006-03-17 14:29  

#6  Is that before or after the hurricane that the Discovery Channel says is going to hit NY??
Posted by: Desert Blondie   2006-03-17 14:21  

#5  Didn't someone post here about the 2 poles and how one really won't affect ocean levels because the majority of ice is already underwater, taking up more room than the liquid form would? Sounds reasonable enough to me. Why all the gloom and doom, except to get more grant dollars? Somehow, methinks that if this were a true issue (which I don't believe it is; or even if it is, it's not all man-made, like the greens cry), I'd be willing to bet dollars to donuts that we could "save" NYC and Boston with some unbelievable engineering feats. They might be an island, but would still be habitable.
Posted by: BA   2006-03-17 14:19  

#4  NYC and Boston? Uh oh, I'm torn... care / not care.
Posted by: Glirong Whong8693   2006-03-17 14:08  

#3  A wall around New Orleans??? "Escape from New York" style? Makes sense, from what I've read.
Posted by: anonymous5089   2006-03-17 14:02  

#2  He will contract with the guy who built the wall around New Orleans. I smell cogressional pork projects here. Now the cry will be to build sea walls down the east coast.
Posted by: 49 Pan   2006-03-17 13:55  

#1  Got my lawn chair with pontoon feet and a inflatable floating igloo cooler all ready, Senator. Bring on the show!
Posted by: Seafarious   2006-03-17 13:49  

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