 La Belle France is launching a "cultural workshop" starting in September in a bid to promote understanding between the West and the Islamic world, the diplomat in charge of the project said Thursday. The workshop, which is the brainchild of French President Jacques Chirac, will hold its first session in Paris on September 13-15, ambassador-at-large Jacques Huntzinger told AFP.
| Brilliant. Simply brilliant. Jacques is truly one of the great minds of the 16th Century. |
Huntzinger, in Doha to attend an inter-faith dialogue, said the workshop aims at "countering the risk of the development of misunderstandings, prejudices and fear among peoples and civil societies" on the two banks of the Mediterranean.
| What about understanding the genuine dangers posed by eye-rolling, spittle-spewing holy men who want to kill you and yours? What about the genuine dangers posed by the advocates of Armed Struggle™ and the Dynamite Your Neighbor set? They're starting on the assumption that it's all just a misunderstanding and that there's no danger to the West, despite continuous assurances to the contrary from any number of respected holy men. |
According to a presentation of the project, a copy of which was obtained by AFP, the second session will be held in the Spanish city of Seville February 7-9, 2007 and the third in the Egyptian port of Alexandria in June next year.
| Gay Paree's a great place to start the festivities. No doubt they'll have a ceremonial carbecue, followed by festive strikes and riots, culminating in the hilarity of the Running of the Algerians in the 17th Arondissement. Seville, of course, used to be a Muslim city until the Moors were given the boot, so that's fraught with enough symbolism to make you gag. Alexandria used to be a Christian city with the world's greatest library until it was taken over by Lions of the Desert, who burned down the library because they already had a book. |
Participants in the "dialogue of peoples and cultures" will come from non-governmental organizations although organizers will seek the support of the governments concerned. "The platform must be given to historians, educators, researchers and new thinkers on both banks. With the help of the media, satellite channels and the Internet, they will know how to fight stereotypes," the document says.
| Boy, I'd love to get a job as a thinker. I suppose it pays well — European thinkers never seem to work at anything else — so I wouldn't have to worry about groceries or the cost of gas going to work. All I'd have to do is cogitate. I could buy a black turtleneck and a pack of Gaulloises and think thoughts both great and small, considering the whichness of why, and whether pigs have wings, and how many angels can dance on the head of a pin. With the help of media, satellite channels and the internet, I'll betcha I could figure out how to fight stereotypes in no time flat, which would leave time for thinking about really important things, like beer and women. |
The series of workshops will be open to Arab countries of the Maghreb, Levant and Gulf, in addition to Israel, Turkey and member states of the European Union.
| Oh, it all sounds so ecumenical! |
Themes to be debated will range from the role of media to the relationship between society and religion in secular systems and those based on sharia, or Islamic law.
Practicing for my eventual high paying job as a Thinker™, I'd say that the relation between society and religion in secular systems is... ummm... different from those based on sharia, or Islamic law. Yep. That's what I'd say.
In secular societies there's no relationship between society and religion. None.There's a relationship between the members of society and religion. They're allowed to belong to any religion they want, or to none at all. This necessitates a certain tension between religions as they compete for adherents to fill collection plates, spread gospels, and that sort of thing. This tension expresses itself in the types of hats worn by clergy belonging to Catholic style Christianity, which range from the simple beret worn by Father Camillo, through the broad-brimmed hat worn by Father Guido Sarducci, to the miter that's shared among bishops, cardinals, and the pope himself. Orthodox priests compete among themselves to come up with the most outlandish hats, and they add beards, side-curls (stolen from the Jews), and fonny assents to bring in the paying devout.
Among Protestant clerics, this same tension evidences itself somewhat in dress, with Episcopalians affecting the Papish Roman collar and cloning the bishops' hats, but more distinctly in the tone and accent of preachers. These range from the drone of the Luthern cleric in Minnesota through variations on the accents of Alabama and Mississippi among Pentecostalists, Baptists, and different flavors of Methodists. This accent is a requirement, taught in all the best theological schools, and must be mastered, even if the preacher is from New Jersey. Returning to my previous study of linguistics, I've given this some deep thought — I'm becoming a professional Thinker, after all — and I'm building a matrix that will show just which denomination equates to just which village in the swath of Katrina-devastated countryside stretching from Biloxi to Birmingham. I'm expecting a Pulitzer next year if I can just find a few CIA sources to quote.
And of course in those societies which are based on shariah, or Islamic law, the relationship between society and religion is quite different still. If you're not a Muslim they'll kill you. |
The need for an inter-cultural dialogue was highlighted by the crisis sparked by the publication of cartoons of Islam's Prophet Mohammed in European papers, which infuriated Muslims across the world, according to the document. The cartoons row showed the degree to which "the Arab-Islamic world resents the West, notably Europe," a feeling which can resurface any time, the document warns.
| Here's where I come to doubt my powers as a professional Thinker. Cogitate as I might, I can't come up with a reason for Europe to be concerned that the Arab-Islamic world resents the West if the Arab-Islamic world doesn't appear in the least concerned that the West might resent them. Now, if I was a Muslim of any sort, I'd look around me and see my governing classes made up in large part of swaggering bullies and aging princes who look like Grampaw Munster. Then I'd look over my shoulder at the West, where people are if not rolling in money, then making a decent living, inventing things, drinking beer, pinching girlies, and — not to be insensitive about it — walking all over the Muslim world when it comes to any kind of competition that doesn't involve eye-rolling, moustache cursing, or pouring acid on women. I would have the good sense not to want the West to resent me for being a backward yokel, given to bonking my head five times a day in the general direction of Mecca while keeping my wife in a sack and occasionally taking a hatchet to one of my daughters for making goo goo eyes at the boy in the next holler. But then, I'm not an Arab or a Muslim, so I'm probably missing something. Maybe some beer would help me cogitate a little more deeply. |
Preparations for the dialogue are taking place in close cooperation with Spain and with the backing of Egypt, it said.
| No doubt they used to hold similar get-togethers with Germans and Italians in the '30s to defuse the rising tensions. That worked well, too. Sometimes genuine understanding among people makes you want to order more ammunition. |
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