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-Short Attention Span Theater-
Wife Rips Husband's Penis Off With Bare Hands
2006-05-19
TIOGA-NICETOWN - May 17, 2006 - A Philadelphia man is recovering from an attack, allegedly at the hands of his wife. The assault on his private parts has become public knowledge. In an interview with Action News after his release from, the 52-year-old victim spoke of his terrifying ordeal.

The 52-year-old Tioga-Nicetown man, who we are identifying only by his first name of Howard, arrived home late Wednesday, hours after his wife allegedly tore off two parts of his genitalia with her bare hands. Surgeons at Einstein successfully managed to repair the damage. Howard/Tioga-Nicetown: "Doctors did a beautiful job in E.R. and the paramedics did a wonderful job, they only took 4 minutes to get here."

Howard says his 40-year-old wife Monica, who he says is bi-polar, somehow conceived the notion that he was cheating on her. So while he was asleep last night, she attacked him.
This is the reason for that old rule; "Don't sleep with anyone crazier than you."
By any chance, is Monica a) Thai b) Filipino c) Indonesian?
Howard: "I mean she just grabbed me all down there and yanking and yanking and tearing me up with those fingernails."
Thanks, we get the picture
Police and paramedics rushed to the man's row home in the 3800 block of Pulaski where they found him bleeding profusely. He was rushed to Einstein where doctors first labeled his condition critical. He was later upgraded to stable after having reattachment surgery and a few doses of morphine.
"More morphine, Howie?"
"yeeeeeeeeeessssssss, pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaasssssseeeee!"
Howard still cannot believe his wife of 11 years would allegedly do this him.
Howard: "I can see doing something like that to a rapist, or mugger but not a husband, not something like..." Dann: "She thought that you were cheating on her?" Howard: "I wasn't cheating on nobody, I'm home in bed at 8' 0 clock every night, I mean I'm not out there messing around."

Brian Lawson/neighbor: "I mean men cringing when they hear the story, I mean uh, I'm just cringing thinking about it."
Me too
Antoinette Fortune/Neighbor: "Who would wanna do something like that?"
Unidentified Neighbor: "That's kinda nasty. That's drastic isn't it? He's lucky to be alive."

Some neighbors say Howard's had problems with his wife before and has thrown her out only to let her back in. They worry what'll happen next.
Dann Cuellar: "Howard, you're not gonna let her back in here are you?"
Howard: "Oh no, no, no. She's in jail where she belongs."

At one point, Howard's wife Monica was facing attempted murder charges but now, the D.A.'s office has asked that a psychiatric evaluation be performed before any charges are filed.
Posted by:mcsegeek1

#19  need to export this justice to Islam
Posted by: Frank G   2006-05-19 22:34  

#18  jeez anonymous2u remind me then to never fall asleep again.
Posted by: Mankind   2006-05-19 21:50  

#17  Did I ever tell you guys that I admire Lorena Bobbitt???
Posted by: anonymous2u   2006-05-19 21:27  

#16  Wife Rips Husband's Penis Off With Bare Hands

Good Gawd what psychic trauma my voice is still stuck on soprano!
Posted by: RD   2006-05-19 17:32  

#15  flick... flick... flick...
Posted by: Lorena   2006-05-19 17:26  

#14  it's OK - Jack Daniels and a warm bath worked.....
Posted by: Frank G   2006-05-19 17:10  

#13  story made my genitals retreat into my body cavity......now they won't come out...too scared

I advise you to find a shaman post haste - and don't shake anyones hand's you're a carrier now.
Posted by: 6   2006-05-19 16:30  

#12  Yeah Sarge, and apparently if you don't hand it to her, she helps herself.
Posted by: mcsegeek1   2006-05-19 16:13  

#11  Gawd, I love this town! Is Philly a great place, or what?
Posted by: Dave D.   2006-05-19 15:51  

#10  Well, you've gotta hsnd it to her.
Posted by: Sgt. D.T.   2006-05-19 15:47  

#9  Eeeewwwwwww.
Posted by: Barbara Skolaut   2006-05-19 15:45  

#8  story made my genitals retreat into my body cavity......now they won't come out...too scared
Posted by: Frank G   2006-05-19 15:41  

#7  Dammit, woman, at least use a blade or something. We humans are a tool specy, aren't we?

Brian Lawson/neighbor: "I mean men cringing when they hear the story, I mean uh, I'm just cringing thinking about it."
Me too
Me too, for sure.
Posted by: anonymous5089   2006-05-19 14:36  

#6  Nicetown has changed it's name to... Crazybitchtown.
Posted by: tu3031   2006-05-19 14:01  

#5  Worst. Handjob. Ever.
Posted by: Zenster   2006-05-19 13:59  

#4  Honey, not so rough, you'll leave a mark.
Posted by: wxjames   2006-05-19 13:56  

#3  Owwwww!
Posted by: Chuck Simmins   2006-05-19 13:12  

#2  plz mother of Allah no mo, Ima goin back down the well!
Posted by: the Twelfth Imami   2006-05-19 13:09  

#1  Girls named "Monica"--they're nothin' but trouble, I tell ya.
Posted by: William Jefferson Clinton   2006-05-19 12:59  

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