You have commented 339 times on Rantburg.

Your Name
Your e-mail (optional)
Website (optional)
My Original Nic        Pic-a-Nic        Sorry. Comments have been closed on this article.
Bold Italic Underline Strike Bullet Blockquote Small Big Link Squish Foto Photo
Submit your comments on this article
-Short Attention Span Theater-
Lioness kills idiot at Kiev zoo
2006-06-05
A lioness at Kiev's zoo has killed a man who climbed into her enclosure. A Ukrainian of Azerbaijani origin lowered himself into the enclosure using a rope. He was quoted as saying God would save him.
"Hello, you have reached God. I'm out of the office right now. Please leave a prayer at the beep, I'll get back to you."
One of four lions in the enclosure seized the 45-year-old by the throat, and he died at the scene.
Lions, why do they.....oh, right
The zoo - which keeps the lions on an "island" protected by concrete blocks - was packed with visitors at the time of the attack on Sunday. "The man shouted 'God will save me, if he exists', lowered himself by a rope into the enclosure, took his shoes off and went up to the lions," a zoo official told Reuters news agency.
"Look, Sheba, lunch is early today"
"A lioness went straight for him, knocked him down and severed his carotid artery."
Clearly an experienced lioness.
Posted by:Steve

#17  Reminds me of the joke about a tourist who goes to a cannibal restaurant.

On the menu: Aussie for $50, Frenchman for $50, Mexican for $50, or Arab for $150. Tourist asks the waiter, "why is the Arab so expensive?" The waiter replies, "You ever try to wash an Arab?!?"
Posted by: Scooter McGruder   2006-06-05 16:26  

#16  Rather painful way to win a Darwin Award.
Posted by: DMFD   2006-06-05 22:45  

#15  Redacted?? Sheesh, I thought it was pretty funny. But, OK - no more "dirty arab" jokes from me.... (or was it the cannibal restaurant part that was in bad taste?)
Posted by: Scooter McGruder   2006-06-05 22:25  

#14  Yes there is a me.
I was proving it to a lioness just this morning.
Posted by: Gawd Amighty Esquire   2006-06-05 17:15  

#13  
Redacted by moderator. Comments may be redacted for trolling, violation of standards of good manners, or plain stupidity. Please correct the condition that applies and try again. Contents may be viewed in the
sinktrap. Further violations may result in
banning.
Posted by: Scooter McGruder   2006-06-05 16:26  

#12  Throughout all history stupidity has always been a prime ingredient of snack food the world around.
Posted by: Zenster   2006-06-05 15:14  

#11  I think we can rule out 'Shadrach', 'Meshach' and 'Abednego' too.
Posted by: mcsegeek1   2006-06-05 14:12  

#10  I guess he wasn't named "daniel", huh?
Posted by: mojo   2006-06-05 14:10  

#9  So where do we go from here, now that there is irrefutable proof that god does not exist? ...should be easy sailin' from now on...


Posted by: Kitty   2006-06-05 13:35  

#8  Perfessor: If the probability of 1 lion killing you is 50%, the probability of 2 lions killing you is 75%, and the probability of 4 lions killing you is 3000%.

dear Perfessor Principia Mathematica,

I was just stinkin, do you think I go buy me some lotto tickets today?

anonymous5089: Yeah, but did they eat him, at least? Otherwise, his death would be meaningless and useless, I mean.

LOL! the Lions tried to et the poor imbecile but then refused to and were overheard to say "WoW that guy tastes especially Ukrainian weird"!

yep
Posted by: RD   2006-06-05 13:23  

#7  "Lion of Islam, meet the Lioness of...Kiev."
Posted by: Seafarious   2006-06-05 13:04  

#6  But did he have any children? The Darwin Award people will need to know.
Posted by: CrazyFool   2006-06-05 12:28  

#5  If the probability of 1 lion killing you is 50%, the probability of 2 lions killing you is 75%, and the probability of 4 lions killing you is 3000%.
Posted by: Perfessor   2006-06-05 12:01  

#4  Was he halal?
Posted by: ed   2006-06-05 11:45  

#3  You'd think he'd have heard of Nero.
Posted by: doc   2006-06-05 11:39  

#2  Yeah, but did they eat him, at least? Otherwise, his death would be meaningless and useless, I mean.
Posted by: anonymous5089   2006-06-05 11:28  

#1  LOL: too bad we didn't find this earlier, it would have made the top of the masthead in today's Defender-Scimitar. Wonder if Fred will do an afternoon edition?
Posted by: Steve White   2006-06-05 10:01  

00:00