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| -Short Attention Span Theater- |
| Russian engineer guzzles away secret Su-34 part, Americans to Blame |
| 2006-10-11 |
| A simple tale of hi-tech drinking bouts... At the beginning of summer engineers from Ulianovskoe Designing Bureau of Device Construction received an order from Novosibirsk aviation workers who needed a control assembly part for a SU-34 plane. It took three months to complete the order. Two designers were supposed to deliver the expensive shipment to Novosibirsk . 'We always send people in two's,' the firm's employer explains, 'the orders are usually pretty expensive and we try to provide some kind of insurance this way.' Read on to find out why this is a very sensible idea... Unfortunately the day before the trip one of the deliverers got sick. There was no time to look for a replacement leaving Bureau's employee Pavel Pahomov to take the train from Volgograd to Ulan-Ude by himself. Precious cargo that cost 30,000 Euro was packed into an ordinary looking cardboard box to conceal its value: here is a regular passenger taking gifts back to his family. It may not have been a good idea to use an ordinary-looking cardboard box... Once he took his seat Pahomov got to know all his train neighbors. Someone offered a toast, and one thing led to another: to women, to Russian factories. To hi-tech delivery boys Three bottles of vodka didn't feel like enough it never does, and Pavel came off the train in Ufa in search of more alcohol. While he was waiting in line he missed his train. Extremely worried designer got a taxi and caught his train at the next station. His happy return then was celebrated for another 24 hours. Phew, that's ok then!-party on! This time the party was held in the restaurant-carriage. That always means trouble Pahomov recalled the fact that he was delivering an expensive order only when the train was approaching Novosibirsk . Pavel went back to his seat and found the box missing. He jumped out of the train and rushed to the police station nearby. And guess whose fault it was... 'It was the Americans who got me drunk and stole the part! Those damned spies!' ta da! from the confused account mumbled by a hangover victim authorities perceived that he was carrying a secret part to the military plant and called the Federal Security Servcie. As it turned out there were no ill-wishers and state enemies involved in the incident. While Pavel was partying and getting intoxicated with his new friends a stewardess decided to clean up the area where their seats were located. After finding a cardboard box filled with apple leftovers, empty cans, dirty newspapers and other trash (which had the secret part somewhere at the bottom) the woman simply grabbed it and threw it in the furnace. See why it was a bad idea to use an ordinary-looking cardboard box. Surely not too expensive a mistake though? Yuriy Butov, the director's assistant for supplying Chkalov 's Aviation Factory in Novosibirsk : 'Without this part the bombardment aircraft SU-34's serial production cannot be launched. And we have a pending order for 24 planes. That is one billion Euros! Now the Designing Bureau is desperately trying to construct the part but they need another two months to complete it. We are facing serious financial losses.' Ah, looks like it was an expensive mistake after all. There's more at the link |
| Posted by:Tony (UK) |
| #12 Devochka conductor, why is name Bambi? |
| Posted by: Pavel 2006-10-11 13:56 |
| #11 Excellent work, Agent 43. |
| Posted by: Halliburton - Russian Bacchanal Division 2006-10-11 13:45 |
| #10 I'm waiting for a similar story about the A380 wiring....... |
| Posted by: DoDo 2006-10-11 12:57 |
| #9 Vodka, why does it hate us? (And why do we love it, still?) |
| Posted by: anonymous5089 2006-10-11 11:52 |
| #8 How about a little sympathy for the poor drunk? He'll have to pay for the part through payroll deduction and that means he'll be working until well into the 2500's. |
| Posted by: Chuck Simmins 2006-10-11 11:48 |
| #7 And people wonder why I'm not really concerned about Russia trying to relive the cold war.... |
| Posted by: DarthVader 2006-10-11 10:38 |
| #6 BigJim - the F-16 part is prolly half the size. |
| Posted by: Bobby 2006-10-11 10:02 |
| #5 Shoulda used Fedeks... |
| Posted by: Fred 2006-10-11 09:36 |
| #4 i hope they shot the delivery guy and his boss. not that i care just for stupidity |
| Posted by: sinse 2006-10-11 08:52 |
| #3 Why don't they just buy a used F-16 part that does the same thing? They probably just reverse engineered it from someone elses anyway. |
| Posted by: bigjim-ky 2006-10-11 07:50 |
| #2 "desperately trying to construct the part but they need another two months to complete it" What kind of small part takes two months to make when the design is complete? |
| Posted by: Darrell 2006-10-11 07:22 |
| #1 a stewardess decided to clean up the area where their seats were located Hummmmm.... in Russia? |
| Posted by: Shipman 2006-10-11 06:56 |