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-Lurid Crime Tales-
D.A. Won't Alienate Man Over Close Encounters
2006-10-20
In the YJCMTSU department. Even the title is a joke.
Witness who reports visits by otherworldly creatures will testify in environmental lawsuit.
It starts right here.
Some attorneys might shy away from using a witness who says he has been abducted by bizarre creatures that repeatedly return at night to poke tiny holes in his chest.
Well, old mo' had Gabriel slit his torso open, wash his organs with zam-zam water, and put them all back... so, that makes him the new Prophet(Tm), I guess.
But a Santa Barbara County prosecutor said Wednesday that he intends to present testimony from just such a witness next week in a civil case against the owner of the county's largest land-based oil and gas producer. The man's credibility in the county's lawsuit against Greka Energy is "a valid issue to be litigated," said Deputy Dist. Atty. Jerry Lulejian, adding that videos of the strange visitations may be shown to the judge "as a further test of his believability."
Oh yes, they're very believable.
Posted by:anonymous5089

#10  "footprints on a sheet of aluminum foil that he had laid out in hopes of securing clues"
That is soooo 1978. We levitate now; he should have saved the foil for a hat.
Posted by: Mork   2006-10-20 20:26  

#9  I have renounced the one-gloved one and his music. He is a false god.
Posted by: Abdominal Snowman   2006-10-20 14:24  

#8  Snowman! Kree!
Posted by: Chuck Simmins   2006-10-20 13:55  

#7  John Keel lives in NYC, I think. He had some heart problems but is reportedly doing better.

(I suspect he's in NYC because it's pretty far from Santa Barbara, and the goa'uld who occasionally makes his habitation there.)
Posted by: Abdominal Snowman   2006-10-20 13:19  

#6  It could all be swamp gas.
Posted by: wxjames   2006-10-20 12:18  

#5  I don't think they'll have any trouble getting a Santa Barbara jury to believe him.
Posted by: DoDo   2006-10-20 11:07  

#4  His co-counsel, Santa Monica attorney Jeffrey Valle

Oh, oh, I missed that one! Cue in Jacques Vallée!

Damn, this whole thing is either a journalistical prank, or a serie of acausal jungian synchronicities!
Posted by: anonymous5089   2006-10-20 09:55  

#3  Winter Alien Soldier?
Posted by: Bright Pebbles in Blairistan   2006-10-20 08:21  

#2  so he had to travel to Thousand Oaks to find a PODIATRIST that would help solve tis mystery...jeebus. The DA needs to think long and hard about his next reelection and whether this prosecutor should be fired or disbarred
Posted by: Frank G   2006-10-20 07:51  

#1  Should be either non-WOT, or local, my bad.
Posted by: anonymous5089   2006-10-20 06:02  

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