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Iraq
Tater puts hairy eyeball on disobedient minions
2006-10-28
Moqtada al-Sadr has threatened rogue commanders in his Mahdi Army militia with the wrath of God, his principal mouthpiece told worshippers at prayer on Friday.
"I declare that you will be cursed. Sayid Moqtada al-Sadr is a blessing from God upon you and is your protector."
In recent weeks armed groups claiming allegiance to al-Sadr's movement have fought pitched battles with Iraqi security forces in two southern towns, Diwaniyah and Amara, despite calls from al-Sadr for restraint. "This disobedience to the leadership has divided us and earned us multiple enemies," declared Sheikh Jaber al-Khafaji, the preacher who speaks for al-Sadr at the mosque in the central Iraqi town of Kufa. "The directives of Moqtada al-Sadr in his speach during Eid prayers should not go unnoticed," he added, referring to the latest of al-Sadr's recent attempts to rein in his movement's more unruly cadres. "If you do not obey, you will regret it. Indeed, I declare that you will be cursed. Sayid Moqtada al-Sadr is a blessing from God upon you and is your protector," Khafaji told the large crowd in this Shia area.
Posted by:Fred

#13  his principal mouthpiece told worshippers

This is so wrong, in so many ways, yet ever have I wanted a principal mouthpiece.
Posted by: Shipman   2006-10-28 14:05  

#12  This is always such a tough decision... Do we use the scalpel and the MaGik mOdeRatE FilTer... or the 120mm smoothbore and the fire control system?

What would Pelosi do?

How about Patton?
Posted by: .com   2006-10-28 13:20  

#11  Show him the old Western method, a slug from a Colt.

and all that does is vacate a spot for someone else to come in and continue disturbing the same shit. You want someone there who has been taught a lesson, possibly multiple times. Sooner or later he should realize the futility of it all and give up.
Posted by: Shaviting Phinens9082   2006-10-28 13:09  

#10  Triage. A regrettably necessary skill for doctors.
Posted by: lotp   2006-10-28 12:31  

#9  Damn, but these RB doctors are cold ones.
Posted by: Shipman   2006-10-28 12:29  

#8  I want to hear the lamentations of his women

/Conan
Posted by: Remoteman   2006-10-28 11:51  

#7  Boys, boys, let's be nice and compromise. First show him the decimation of his followers, then plug him with a Colt.
Posted by: Steve White   2006-10-28 11:30  

#6  #5 You a goof? You think he can be redeemed by humiliation? It's not like he believes his followers are in his 'care'. They are Al's minions, to do the bidding of his 'blessing'.

Show him the old Western method, a slug from a Colt.
Posted by: Skidmark   2006-10-28 08:48  

#5  There's an old eastern European method that hasn't been tried yet:

1.Capture Sadr, but treat him well. Feed him. Get him drunk (adapted for the middle east)
2.Wait for his minions to make a huge frothing fuss about their leader being captured, let them gather, make plans for war etc.
3.Pick a battlefield and announce the time and date for the showdown.
4.Bring Sadr to the battlefield so that he has a clear and unobstructed view of the festivities, but that he is far enough from harms way (or maybe take him to HQ so he can watch everything in realtime and get a bird's eye view).
5.Start the festivities.
6.Release Sadr after his army is decimated to almost nothingness.

The point being that he should be treated well but be forced to witness the massacre of his loyal militia or whatever you wanna call them. It's bound to have quite an effect on him.
Posted by: Shaviting Phinens9082   2006-10-28 03:46  

#4  Tater's mob really is a cult. Their devotion has to be seen to be believed. All other Iraqis, Sunni and Shia alike, regard him as an Iranian agent and a menace. He appears to be trying to bide his time for now, building his strength for a big showdown.

What outcome is he hoping for, given the ass-whipping his tots received in 2004? I have an out of the box idea about that. In Iraq, the relationship between al-Sadr and the Iranians is much more obvious than it is here. It is possible, imho, that Sadr, not Hizbollah, will be the recipient of Iran's first operational nuke and that our troops, rather than Israel, will be the target.

The benefit to the mullahs of such an attack would be tremendous, but what about US retaliation? Remember that the mullahs, like Saddam and Chavez, are great believers in the Vietnam syndrome. They could easily expect that pressure from the media and the peace movement would keep the US response to a level they could tolerate, especially since they could point out that the target was military. Thousands of Iraqis would perish in such an event, but the global media seem pretty well inured to Iraqi casualties, especially those inflicted by Islamic terrorists. The mullahs proved during the Iran-Iraq war that they can tolerate a lot of punishment.
Posted by: Atomic Conspiracy   2006-10-28 03:23  

#3  Sure, I'd buy a used car from Tater, sure...
Posted by: Captain America   2006-10-28 02:47  

#2  If you do not obey, you will regret it.

If you do obey, however, you will probably regret it even more. Or at least your family will . . . .

Indeed, I declare that you will be cursed.

The best we can do is to declare that you will probably be dead.

Sayid Moqtada al-Sadr is a blessing from God upon you and is your protector.

And if you believe that, you'll probably believe that you'll get 72 virgins right after coalition forces snuff your @$$.

Ever wonder how the wives fit into all this afterlife crap?
Posted by: gorb   2006-10-28 01:52  

#1  Oh yeah, this fit in with everything we know to be profound truth.

I didn't see "wink, wink, nudge, nudge" in there...

Ah, al Jizz... Editorial license.
Posted by: .com   2006-10-28 00:14  

00:01