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India-Pakistan
It was a fight for one-upmanship
2006-11-04
What led to the clash between two groups of terrorists in the Naini Central Jail recently?
I dunno. Bet it's a good story, though...
Informed sources said, it was an argument over which group was holier carried out the Mumbai blast that led to the bloody clash and splattering of blood.
Red on red. I like that, especially when there's red on the floor and walls when it's all over.
Sources said, it was a fight for one-upmanship between some terrorists which led to bleeding injuries to at least three of them. With blood dripping from their wounds they were taken to the Jail hospital for treatment.
"Ow! Ow! Ow! We're holier'n you are!"
"Owowowow! Y'are not! Aaaaiiieeee!"
Informed sources said, nine terrorists owing allegiance to Lashkar-e-Taiba, Jaish-e-Mohammad and some other jehadi outfits are lodged in the Naini Jail. It was a discussion between them over the outfit which had carried out the Mumbai train blast that vitiated the atmosphere and caused frayed tempers. While some terrorists claimed it was Lashkar-e-Taiba which had carried out the blasts the other group representing Jaish-e-Mohammad claimed it was their outfit which had the credit of carrying out the terror activity.
"Yeah! We bumped off the infidels!"
"Did not! It wuz us, an' you know it!"
Sources, on condition of anonymity, said that this discussion had been going on between them since several days
"We dunnit an' we're glad!"
"Did not! We dunnit! We're glad!"
and ultimately came to a boiling point which resulted in the attack on each other with sharp-edged weapons.
"That does it! Go fer yer sharp-edged weapons, Mahmoud!"
However, Jail authorities on their part had denied the use of any weapon earlier when inquiries were made about the same. A Jail official had then said that the terrorists had sharpened some spoons and hidden the same with them. The spoons sharpened like knives were used as weapon of attack.
"Look out! He's got a... ummm... spork."
"No. I think it's a spoon."
"A butter knife?"
"Definitely a spoon."
"He's gonna eat soup?"
However, this claim of the official proved to be wrong after the DM and the SSP following surprise raid recovered not only mobiles, liquor, DVD and eatables from hotels but also some sharp-edged weapons.
"Ummm... This ain't a spoon."
"Looks more like a machete."
"Danno, write them up on a 1619 subsection (q)...abuse of minibar privileges."
There were rumours that some of the Jail inmates were even keeping fire arms and the atmosphere inside was surcharged but the raiding team had not come across any fire arm.
"Here, You! Is that a firearm?"
"Oh, no, sahib! That is a bludgeon!"
However, sources claim that the inmates had come to know about the impending raid when the officials had entered the main gate and had even hidden several things which could have included fire arms. But they had no time to hide the sharp-edged weapons and two of them recovered.
"Quick! Hide these!"
"Where?"
"Put 'em with the explosives!"
To recall, HT had also come out with a story about terrorists talking to their family members in Kashmir and leaders of their outfits but some police officers had denied this claim as baseless. Even the STF had tried to rubbish the story after its publication. Meanwhile, Jail sources said after the incident security inside the Jail has further been tightened and the terrorists who had clashed have been kept in separate cells to avoid any further incident.
Posted by:Fred

#3  Sung to the tune of the old Ken-L-Ration jingle. (My Dog's better than your dog)

My God's better than your God.
My God's better than Yours,
My God's better 'cause (Quick make up a reason)
My God's better than Yours.
Posted by: Redneck Jim   2006-11-04 19:42  

#2  I think Tater's Tots are holier than Al Qaeda.
Posted by: gorb   2006-11-04 02:56  

#1  Priceless inline commentary, Fred. Bravo!
Posted by: Zenster   2006-11-04 02:30  

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