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-Lurid Crime Tales-
Police tell bungling crook to get a new career
2006-11-28
DUBLIN (Reuters) - Irish police have told a man dubbed Ireland's dumbest crook to give up his disastrous criminal career before it gets the better of him.

The unnamed man in his 30s has been arrested three times and each heist has brought him closer to the hereafter.

Police took the man into custody and to the hospital at the weekend after he was hit by a lorry while making a getaway from a betting shop robbery, the Irish Sun reported.
He has also been plucked from a chimney where he became stuck while trying to burgle a house, and from the ceiling of a bank where he was pinned by a security device. When they arrived at the bank he was dangling by one leg and stuffing cash into his underpants.

"Go straight before you kill yourself," the Sun quoted Dublin police as having told him.

Dublin police declined to confirm the report.
Posted by:anonymous5089

#8  Why couldn't he just stuff it in a freezer like a normal Congressman crook?
Posted by: William Jefferson   2006-11-28 19:45  

#7  When they arrived at the bank he was dangling by one leg and stuffing cash into his underpants.

He learned bank robbery from the Sandy Burglar School?

Posted by: FOTSGreg   2006-11-28 15:40  

#6  Try something that doesn't require skills or knowledge. Try running for the US Congress.

It is the foreign element that commits our crimes. There is no native criminal class except Congress.
- More Maxims of Mark (Twain), Johnson, 1927
Posted by: anonymous5089   2006-11-28 14:04  

#5  Police tell bungling crook to get a new career

Try something that doesn't require skills or knowledge. Try running for the US Congress. And with an honest to goodness Irish resume, you'll probably qualify for any seat from Massachusetts.
Posted by: Procopius2k   2006-11-28 13:45  

#4  The bank had a rope trap from the cartoons?

My guess was some kind of wire net to prevent entry through ventilation duct (???), but your idea is much more funny!
Posted by: anonymous5089   2006-11-28 09:01  

#3  He has also been plucked from a chimney where he became stuck while trying to burgle a house, and from the ceiling of a bank where he was pinned by a security device. When they arrived at the bank he was dangling by one leg and stuffing cash into his underpants.

The bank had a rope trap from the cartoons?
Posted by: Charles   2006-11-28 08:58  

#2  YouTube - Stupid Criminal

Again Gary Larson had it all covered...


Posted by: anonymous5089   2006-11-28 08:45  

#1  YouTube - Worst Burglar Ever- Funny
Posted by: anonymous5089   2006-11-28 08:40  

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