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-Short Attention Span Theater-
Flatulence, not turbulence forces plane landing in Nashville
2006-12-06
Today's Idiot? Hey, I dunno, it just struck me as a stinker. Hold yer nose...
Flatulence brought 99 passengers on an American Airlines flight to an unscheduled visit to Nashville early Monday morning.
Well, not exactly...
American Flight 1053, from Washington Reagan National Airport and bound for Dallas/Fort Worth, made an emergency landing here after passengers reported smelling struck matches, said Lynne Lowrance, a spokeswoman for the Nashville International Airport Authority.
See, toldja.
"Nadine! Do you smell burnt matches?"
"It's ain't burnt matches! Don't smile, Katie! It'll stain your teeth!"

The plane landed safely. The FBI, Transportation Safety Administration and airport authority responded to the emergency, Lowrance said.
"Whoa! What's that smell? Smells more like somethin' died!"
"Unit 2, be advised breathing apparatus is required!"

The passengers and five crew members were brought off the plane, together with all the luggage, to go through security checks again. Bomb-sniffing dogs found spent matches. The FBI questioned a passenger who admitted she struck the matches when she came down with the vapors in an attempt to conceal body odor, Lowrance said. The woman lives near Dallas and has a medical condition.
Yah, shure. Lol.
Chili is a medical condition?
The flight took off again, but the woman was not allowed back on the plane. "American has banned her for a long time," Lowrance said.
We don't have enough of those cute little pinetree thingys. Sorry.
She was not charged but could have been. While it is legal to bring as many as four books of paper safety matches onto an aircraft, it is illegal to strike a match in an airplane, Lowrance said.
You get no strikes - then you're out, lol.
Posted by:.com

#12  Zman, do you remember the exploding toilet that was part of the TF Foundation logo?

Absolutely, good memory, Ship.
Posted by: Zenster   2006-12-06 23:13  

#11  How is it as a dessert topping?

No, you use it with the chips and crackers.
Posted by: xbalanke   2006-12-06 20:01  

#10  Screen alert, dot! Especially at the end of the work day, lol!
Posted by: BA   2006-12-06 15:21  

#9  How is it as a dessert topping?
Posted by: .com   2006-12-06 15:18  

#8  I had a roomate in college that had horrible smelling feet. We nicknamed him "Carrion Man." He tried everything, but nothing worked. So I got some sheep dip from a friend of mine, mixed it up and put his rotten feet in a tub. Fixed it right up, reapplied as required.

I remembered the sheep dip solution because my dad told me that he got a bad rash as a kid up in N California in the early 1930s. The county quarantined the home. Finally great grandma Richardson went down to the feed store and bought a 5 gal jug of sheep dip. Cleared the rash right up, heh.
Posted by: Alaska Paul   2006-12-06 15:16  

#7  Zman, do you remember the exploding toilet that was part of the TF Foundation logo?
Posted by: Shipman   2006-12-06 13:37  

#6  I habe been thinking in a new Marvel-like Superhero. Smarter than Batman, faster tahn Spiderman; stronger than Supeme: coming from another Galaxy: Fartoman!. He flies by jet propulsion!
Posted by: JFM   2006-12-06 09:14  

#5  It's possible that it could be really horrendous body odor. I went to college with this one guy who had an inherited metabolic disorder that made his sweat absolutely vile. I have never been around anyone who reeked as badly as he did on a daily basis (and yes, he bathed at least once a day).

He used to room with an old boyfriend of mine. I remember one time when I was writing a note to my ex on the dry erase board on their door. Ol' Stinky thought he could sneak up on me and startle me, but I could literally smell him coming down the hallway. He was surprised when he got right behind me and I said "Hi Rich" without looking away from the door, and wondered how I knew he was there....I figured that since we barely got along anyway, telling him it was because he was in rare form that day wouldn't accomplish anything....
Posted by: Swamp Blondie   2006-12-06 06:18  

#4  Terminal flatulence ... it's nothing to sniff at.
Posted by: Zenster   2006-12-06 02:13  

#3  The dog did it ... no, really.
Posted by: tzsenator   2006-12-06 01:22  

#2  Hell with USsearch, now I know where my ex lives...
Posted by: sphinctriloquist   2006-12-06 01:05  

#1  Maybe this could be our first "Idiot of the Day" entry.
Posted by: gorb   2006-12-06 00:46  

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