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| -Short Attention Span Theater- |
| James Cameron finds Jesus' Tomb? |
| 2007-02-26 |
| James Cameron finds grave of Jesus & Son Titanic director rescripts Christianity By Joe Fay Published Monday 26th February 2007 10:55 GMT Hollywood giant James Cameron has set himself his biggest challenge yet – rewriting the bible after discovering that Jesus sired a son before being buried outside Jerusalem. Cameron claims to have found the, now empty, tomb of one Jesua, son of Joseph. The sepulchre also apparently contained the bodies of Mary. As well as another Mary, Matthew and Jofa, and most spectacularly, Jonah, son of Jesua Cameron will claim in a documentary on the Discovery Channel next month that Jesua is also known as Jesus – yes that one – and that this particular first century household is better know to Christians as “The Holy Family”. This will be spectacular news as readers of the New Testament have tended to think that after rising from the dead, Jesus ascended to heaven where he is seated at the right hand of the father. The father in question being not Joseph, but God himself. Equally shocking, at least to anyone who doesn’t buy their reading matter in airports, will be the news that Jesus fathered a son, when he was supposed to have spent his short life performing miracles, redeeming sinful mankind and generally fulfilling his divine mission. But don’t worry, Cameron has the whole story well tied down. Apparently the tomb was found 20 years ago, and it has taken this long to decipher the names and to confirm the identities using DNA analysis. This timelag is just a blink of the eye in biblical terms, and is totally understandable given that Jesus was the son of God, and pinning down supreme beings to get a cheek swab is never easy. No puns about a Titanic find, please... |
| Posted by:BigEd |
| #8 Sh*t like this done by Hollywood makes me wonder if we really wouldn't be better off without Hollywood. I know people say having our movies all over the world makes US a cultural superpower but does it really or does it just make the whole world think we are hores, Gays, muderers, criminals of one stripe or another and in general degenerates? I personally would have no problem relocating all of Hollywood to Paris it was once the "cutural fasion" of the world let em have it again. |
| Posted by: C-Low 2007-02-26 23:05 |
| #7 Heh. They said he's coming back, but they didn't say exactly how. |
| Posted by: KBK 2007-02-26 21:09 |
| #6 I'll be interested only when they successfully clone the DNA. Heh. There's a thought. |
| Posted by: Thromoger Thrumble5163 2007-02-26 19:58 |
| #5 No one will ever find physical evidence of Jesus existance. The Christian Religion is based on Faith, not physical artifacts. |
| Posted by: Deacon Blues 2007-02-26 18:54 |
| #4 I'll be interested only when they successfully clone the DNA. |
| Posted by: DMFD 2007-02-26 18:42 |
| #3 If they do have some DNA perhaps they could combine it with a frog's to get the missing links and then on a hidden island off the coast of Costa Rica they could bring him back. The second coming of Christ, thanks to DNA and Genintec. |
| Posted by: rjschwarz 2007-02-26 18:34 |
| #2 What good would DNA evidence be when you've got nothing to compare it to? Did they get DNA off the shroud of Turin or perhaps a chunk of the cross? Doubtful with the number of people that have handled such artifacts over the centuries and the number of fakers and such. This is just silly stuff. |
| Posted by: rjschwarz 2007-02-26 18:33 |
| #1 I will get interested only if Cameron finds the skull of Jesus when he was 33 and another when he was 12. |
| Posted by: Anguper Hupomosing9418 2007-02-26 16:56 |