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| -Lurid Crime Tales- |
| Masturbating female trespasser booted from frat |
| 2007-03-27 |
| Police have been unable to locate a woman who entered the Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity house without permission on Thursday and began to masturbate on a couch. While fraternity members were eating in the dining room, a woman entered the house's living room, took off her clothes and started masturbating, said LSA junior Dan Nye, the president of the Washtenaw Avenue fraternity. No one saw the woman enter the house or knew how she got in. Nye said she could have entered through the front door, which was left propped open while it was being repaired. Fraternity members asked the woman to leave the house, but she refused and continued masturbating for about half an hour, Nye said. When members asked the woman if she was all right, she casually replied that she was fine, he said. The woman was talking on her cell phone at one point, said LSA sophomore Adam Bayard, a member of the fraternity. She walked out of the front door wearing only a thigh-length black coat after a fraternity member called the police, Nye said. When police arrived minutes later, the woman had already left. According to a police report, the woman was between 20 and 30 years old, had short brown hair and appeared to be under the influence of drugs. "Obviously, she was very disturbed," Nye said. "It was not how a normal person would respond to people." The woman told fraternity members that her name was Melissa and she was a student at Eastern Michigan University, according to the police report. Fraternity members said they will throw out two couches in the living room because of the incident, Nye said. Police said the break-in appeared to be an isolated incident. Let's hope it doesn't spawn an epidemic of such things. |
| Posted by:Anonymoose |
| #17 This is gross but: maybe she will try the fishing-for-crabs defense. |
| Posted by: Sneaze 2007-03-27 21:47 |
| #16 Masturbating female trespasser booted from frat Intrinsa YES! |
| Posted by: RD 2007-03-27 18:32 |
| #15 Depends on how much they got on video. |
| Posted by: Nimble Spemble 2007-03-27 18:01 |
| #14 These frat boys qualified for Today's Idiots. |
| Posted by: Excalibur 2007-03-27 17:58 |
| #13 That in the wake of the Duke lacrosse team fracas that sometimes it is a good idea not to get involved? |
| Posted by: Sgt. Mom 2007-03-27 17:57 |
| #12 What kind of wussy frat boys ask a naked, stoned,masturbating chick to get out of their house? What the hell are they teaching these kids now days? |
| Posted by: bigjim-ky 2007-03-27 16:41 |
| #11 Oh, that explains it... It happened at U of M, short time undergrad home of one Madonna Louise Veronica Ciccone... Must have been for the upcoming video. |
| Posted by: Capsu 78 2007-03-27 16:33 |
| #10 Either she's a bag lady or this a gay chapter of that fraternity |
| Posted by: John Frum 2007-03-27 16:10 |
| #9 Only thing I can figure is she must have looked like a bag lady or such. Exactly -- how ugly did she have to be to have college guys asking her to stop and go away? Normally you have to pay for that sort of entertainment, no? And I would think that the video + eBaying the couches would have payed for the next few keggers ... makes me worry about the up-coming generation of leaders. :-( |
| Posted by: ExtremeModerate 2007-03-27 14:48 |
| #8 "No one saw the woman enter the house or knew how she got in. Nye said she could have entered through the front door, which was left propped open while it was being repaired." Wow, Dean's List frat boys aren't they? Over 30 minutes to call a three-digit number? Not one of the frats offered to assist the young lady in her mission to orgasm and hurry it on up? They tossed the couches instead of selling them and missed a true YouTube moment of fame. Sure this wasn't the Friends of Dorothy chapter? |
| Posted by: Thinemp Whimble 2007-03-27 13:54 |
| #7 Only thing I can figure is she must have looked like a bag lady or such. |
| Posted by: xbalanke 2007-03-27 12:48 |
| #6 Fraternity members asked the woman to leave the house, but she refused and continued masturbating for about half an hour Anyone call 911, yet? Ummmmmmmm...no. What's the number? |
| Posted by: tu3031 2007-03-27 12:23 |
| #5 I wonder if she was a moonbat doing it for peace on earth. |
| Posted by: delphi2005 2007-03-27 12:20 |
| #4 Yep, Jonathan, it's almost as if it never happened, huh? |
| Posted by: Frank G 2007-03-27 12:15 |
| #3 I'm surprised the frat dudes didn't whip out a video camera, film the whole performance, and sell the film on the internet. No entrepreneurial spirit. |
| Posted by: Jonathan 2007-03-27 12:13 |
| #2 I'm a PIKE I never saw these girls when I was in school. And that's a shame.... |
| Posted by: Jacko 2007-03-27 11:58 |
| #1 oh yeah? Well at our SAE house, we had two of em....and one was ...Morgan Fairchild...yeah, that's the ticket! |
| Posted by: Frank G 2007-03-27 11:56 |