Johnson! Stop the presses!!
Khan Younis - Ma'an - The Gaza Strip witnessed a widespread crime wave including gunfire, bombing, attempted abduction and theft on Saturday night.
All at once?
Palestinian security sources reported that anonymous gunmen shot at a national security officer escorts in the Saraya building on Nasser street in Khan Younis, but no casualties were reported. The sources reported that the gunmen were in a Skoda car, but managed to escape.
I'm bored. Let's go shoot at cops.
Gunmen in a Volkswagen car shot at a member of the national security near Abu Khadra area in the centre of Gaza City, the national security men in the area retaliated, but no casualties were reported.
I'm bored. Let's go shoot at cops.
Other parts of the Gaza Strip witnessed increased criminal activity; cars were stolen and shooting rang out through the streets.
They still bother to report stolen cars in Gaza?
In Jabalia refugee camp, in the northern Gaza Strip, an explosive device was detonated in front of the house of Mohammad Ziara. There is significant damage to the house but no casualties.
Look out! Hot potato!
In the central governorate, armed men shot at Fadal Mahmoud Sayyed, in Al Bureij refugee camp, he was shot after assailants failed an attempt to abduct him. Sayyed was injured and transported to hospital for treatment.
Bullet riddled feets, don't fail me now...
In Gaza City governorate unknown men stole the car of Palestinian citizen Mohammad Mahmoud on Al Naser Street, the car belongs to Palestine TV.
This is Mo Mahmoud with a Gaza Action News exclusive! SOMEONE JUST STOLE MY FUCKING CAR!!!
In the northern Gaza Strip unidentified gunmen shot at Palestinian citizen, Jabr Khalil, but he was unhurt.
April fools, Jabr!