An aggressive squirrel attacked and injured three people in a German town before a 72-year-old pensioner dispatched the rampaging animal with his crutch.
"Ach! Täke dät, Mississippi schquirrel!"
"Aber Grämpäw! Wir sind nicht im Mississippi!"
"Shüddup, Sönny, oder ich'll let du haben it, auch!" |
The squirrel first ran into a house in that little old town of Pascagoula the southern town of Passau, leapt from behind on Sister Bertha Better-n-you a 70-year-old woman, and sank its teeth into her hand, a local police spokesman said Thursday.
When that squirrel jumped her garters and crossed her thighs
She jumped to her feet and said "Lord have mercy on me"
As the squirrel made laps inside her dress
She began to cry and then to confess to sins that would make a sailor blush with shame
She told of gossip and church dissension but the thing that got the most attention
Was when she talked about her love life and then she started naming names! |
With the squirrel still hanging from her hand, the woman ran onto the street in panic, where she managed to shake it off. The animal then entered a building site and jumped on a construction worker, injuring him on the hand and arm, before he managed to fight it off with a measuring pole.
Well, Harv hit the aisles dancin' and screamin'
Some thought he had religion others thought he had a demon
And Harv thought he had a weed eater loose in his Fruit-Of-The-Looms |
"After that, the squirrel went into the 72-year-old man's garden and massively attacked him on the arms, hand and thigh," the spokesman said.
Well seven deacons and the pastor got saved,
Twenty-five thousand dollars was raised and fifty volunteered
For missions in the Congo on the spot
Even without an invitation there were at least five hundred rededications
And we all got baptized whether we needed it or not |
"Then he killed it with his crutch."
[Chorus!]
The day the squirrel went berserk
In the First Self-Righteous Church
In the sleepy little town of Pascagoula
It was a fight for survival that broke out in revival
They was jumpin' pews and shoutin' Hallelujah! |
The spokesman said experts thought the attack may have been linked to the mating season or because the squirrel was mentally ill. |