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| Tim Blair: Requiem for a Mouse |
| 2007-07-07 |
| IF YOU'VE not heard of Farfour the mouse, let's get you quickly up to speed. Farfour was the star of Pioneers of Tomorrow, a children's television program produced by Al Aqsa TV - a sort of Middle Eastern ABC - and broadcast throughout Gaza. Farfour's program aired weekly from April. How the children loved that helium-voiced Mickey Mouse lookalike! . . . Farfour was always happiest when his tiny viewers were vowing to blast themselves to death. Note the past tense. Sadly, Farfour no longer appears on the few Gaza televisions unperforated by Hamas or Fatah gunfire. His final show aired a week or so back; you can see the deeply moving footage here. You'll find Al Aqsa TV's notion of killing off a character turns out to be rather literal. . . . Yes, Farfour was bashed to death. By a Jew, natch. (Remember, this is a kids' show we're talking about.) The final scenes are – from an adult perspective – insanely, deliriously funny. Having received some deeds to ancestral lands from his dying grandfather (who is not, in defiance of biology, a mouse), Farfour finds himself faced by an angry Israeli inquisitor who demands he hand over his inheritance in exchange for lots of money. Farfour declines. For a guy – well, a mouse – who's been carrying on about Israeli brutality for his entire television career, Farfour seems remarkably unprepared for his beating. (Also, he appears to be the sole Palestinian not to own an AK-47 with which to defend himself, or shoot randomly into buildings, traffic, whatever Fatah or Hamas sub-factions he currently disagrees with, and the sky.) Farfour's inquisitor returns to his chair and continue negotiations, but proud Farfour refuses to budge . . . at which point another beating commences, this time raised from the previous bitch-slap level to full-on Once Were Warriors mode. Remove the religious/territorial/mouse-human interbreeding components from this dispute and most everyone would agree Farfour deserves, if not death, at least a serious fist-administered attitude adjustment. His voice alone would earn a clubbing from even Adele Horin. And his mouse-head doesn't seem to fit properly, forcing the actor playing Farfour to constantly re-align it. He tries to do this slyly, pretending to be in-character by placing both hands on his Farfour face as if alarmed. Or maybe that's Farfour's stock move. Either way, the resultant visual effect recalls a rodent Macauley Culkin. I don't care where you're from, what philosophy you follow, how much of a pacifist you claim to be, or even if you're insensate and hooked up to life support, a Macauley/mouse combo appearance will inspire violence. . . . Anyway, Farfour's unfortunate real estate deal was still under way when the show cut to its teenage girl co-host, who announced Farfour had been martyred while defending his land; 72 virgins for Farfour. A young female viewer phoned in. "We don't like the Jews because they are dogs!" she railed. "We will fight them! They killed Farfour!" . . . It might be time to further explore the Farfour Theory – that those Muslims who hate us have been taught to hate us. Not very complex, I know, but it seems to cover all the bases. |
| Posted by:Mike |
| #4 Requiem for a Mouse Sounds like something Balph Eubank would have written. |
| Posted by: Zenster 2007-07-07 23:07 |
| #3 that rat is pretty cheezey, only paleos with make believe lives would let their kids see this nihilistic rodent offal. |
| Posted by: RD 2007-07-07 18:29 |
| #2 Beating was too good for that rat. |
| Posted by: Pappy 2007-07-07 11:11 |
| #1 LOL - the Video's great! A rodent Macauley Culkin? ROFL! |
| Posted by: Frank G 2007-07-07 09:49 |