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-Short Attention Span Theater- |
Eating humans is hazardous to your health |
2007-07-13 |
Going out to eat with a pal is one thing, but actually eating your friend for lunch could cause serious health problems. Health guru Randall Fitzgerald, is the author of The Hundred-Year Lie (Plume), a book that reveals how to protect yourself from chemicals that could ruin your health, and says the human body is so contaminated with chemicals from modern life that we can’t eat ourselves. Fitzgerald says, “If cannibalism were legal in this country and our flesh was up for review by the FDA, we would all fail the inspection.” He says our bodies house hundreds of synthetic chemicals from beauty products, tap water, and medicines that are all toxic. So what it boils down to is that being the next Hannibal Lecter is still not a good idea. Says Fitzgerald: “We’re simply not fit for human consumption.” This "article" is probably a scanned-in press release from the aforementioned "health guru" or the PR type flacking his new book. Apparently someone thought it would be "cute" to talk about environmental chemicals from a cannibalism angle. What were they thinking? Were they thinking? Memo to the health guru: cannibalism is creepy. Memo to the PR flack who thought this was cute: associating your client with cannibalism and other creepiness does not make people want to buy your client's stuff (certain niche markets excepted, of course--but you don't want to go there). |
Posted by:Mike |
#12 You know the most interesting people, 3dc. Clearly innate leadership ability -- from cannibal chief to Lutheran bishop! |
Posted by: trailing wife 2007-07-13 22:41 |
#11 Zen, that picture is great! Did you just whip that up? Nope, nosiree, Bob. That's a genuine Armour pork product. As one wag said, "The grey matter of the other white meat." |
Posted by: Zenster 2007-07-13 20:25 |
#10 And yet, it is so common that many tribes have developed genetic resistance to diseases like kuru. |
Posted by: Iblis 2007-07-13 18:23 |
#9 Of course Christianity takes hold very well in cannibal lands - because Christians are so with it eating the body and blood of their God! |
Posted by: 3dc 2007-07-13 18:21 |
#8 I knew a ex-cannibal chief. (New Guinea) (ex-because he ate everybody he knew before getting religion and becoming the Lutheran Bishop of New Guinea). He told me civilized man didn't taste good. All, that coffee, tea, stress, drugs and stuff. He preferred to eat organically raised folks. Explained that when they raided another tribe they would raise the kids with them but never feed them meat. Then when the day arrived, it was bang bang Maxwell's silver hammer (no he didn't know about that but it fits into the story so well) and presto chango LONG PIG is SERVED! |
Posted by: 3dc 2007-07-13 18:19 |
#7 Zen, that picture is great! Did you just whip that up? |
Posted by: Mike N. 2007-07-13 18:03 |
#6 Besides, it's not kosher. |
Posted by: gorb 2007-07-13 17:51 |
#5 Consumption of human brain matter has also been identified as the likely source of CJD (Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease):Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease (CJD) is a rare, degenerative, invariably fatal brain disorder. It affects about one person in every one million people per year worldwide; in the United States there are about 200 cases per year. CJD usually appears in later life and runs a rapid course. Typically, onset of symptoms occurs about age 60, and about 90 percent of patients die within 1 year. In the early stages of disease, patients may have failing memory, behavioral changes, lack of coordination and visual disturbances. As the illness progresses, mental deterioration becomes pronounced and involuntary movements, blindness, weakness of extremities, and coma may occur. No matter how adventurous of a culinary explorer I am, nothing on earth could get me to eat any animal's brains. Besides, one look at the nutritional information is enough to make you scream. |
Posted by: Zenster 2007-07-13 17:27 |
#4 Seems that by the time you choose cannibalism the health factor of the meat is sort of irrelevant. Reminds me of hte old Dennis Miller joke when he heard that Jeffrey Dahlmer wore a condom while having gay sex. "How is it the wear a condom message got through but the don't eat people one didn't quite sink in?" |
Posted by: rjschwarz 2007-07-13 17:15 |
#3 Somebody ought to tell Castro he needs to quit. |
Posted by: FOTSGreg 2007-07-13 15:40 |
#2 "Eating humans is hazardous to your health" Goddamn right it is. We tend to get nasty and downright organized about it. Ask the cave bear, the dire wolf or the saber-tooth. Oh, that's right, you can't - they're fucking EXTINCT! |
Posted by: mojo 2007-07-13 14:35 |
#1 Thanks, Randall. I'll keep this in mind the next time I'm tempted to try cannibalism... |
Posted by: tu3031 2007-07-13 14:20 |