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| -Short Attention Span Theater- |
| John Edwards Vows To End All Bad Things By 2011 |
| 2007-07-16 |
| The Onion. It's a parody . . . for now. AMES, IA—In an effort to jump-start a presidential campaign that still has not broken into the top Democratic tier, former Sen. John Edwards made his most ambitious policy announcement yet at a campaign event in Iowa Monday: a promise to eliminate all unpleasant, disagreeable, or otherwise bad things from all aspects of American life by the end of his second year in office. "Many bad things are not just bad—they're terrible," said a beaming Edwards, whose "Only the Good Things" proposal builds upon previous efforts to end poverty, outlaw startlingly loud noises, and offer tax breaks to those who smile frequently. "Other candidates have plans that would reduce some of the bad things, but I want all of them gone completely." . . . Though some Democrats are applauding the positivity of Edwards' pro-good agenda, critics say that the wealthy former trial lawyer is, at best, paying lip service to the issue. "This is certainly a step in the right direction, but it's not enough," Daily Kos contributor BitchingPoints wrote hours after Edwards' announcement. "Where in Mr. Edwards' list of bad things does it mention poisonous snakes, nasty red wine stains on rugs, trolls, and noisy neighbors? Edwards has left the door wide open for a rival candidate to outflank him on his own issue by introducing a comprehensive plan that fills these gaping holes." . . . |
| Posted by:Mike |
| #8 Dubya has circa 17 months to continue to strengthen the US position in the ME and around the world; while the Dems have the same to prove themselves to US voters. I don't believe, however, that Moud + Radical Islam can wait for 2011 unless Dubya's successor come Jan 2009 is publicly willing to make some mighty big Big BIG B-I-G BBBBBBBIIIIIIIIGGGGGGG concessions to Amer's enemies to the detriment of the USA. |
| Posted by: JosephMendiola 2007-07-16 23:54 |
| #7 The Breck Girl Vows To End All Bad Things By 2011 wow, that means a comb-over of his whole life then.. |
| Posted by: RD 2007-07-16 19:57 |
| #6 No more Lawyers in politics, they have pretty much single handedly wrecked the US of A. Screw John Edwards, all lawyers and their whole greedy nepotistic guild. |
| Posted by: Sock Puppet of Doom 2007-07-16 18:02 |
| #5 Why not promise like Mugabe to slash in half all prices? |
| Posted by: ed 2007-07-16 13:25 |
| #4 Speaking of booty, I'm glad to see Grace gracing this website again. |
| Posted by: JohnQC 2007-07-16 13:23 |
| #3 Pirate booty for everybody! |
| Posted by: tu3031 2007-07-16 13:10 |
| #2 I figure the guy is getting desperate--he is promising everything. Hey Johnny Boy, I'll take some of your ill-gotten wealth. There is probably some donk idiots out there that will buy this B.S. hook, line, and sinker. |
| Posted by: JohnQC 2007-07-16 13:00 |
| #1 His campaign song can be the Cany Man.. who can make sunrise...etc |
| Posted by: macofromoc 2007-07-16 12:43 |