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-Lurid Crime Tales-
After 5 Years In U.S. , Terrorist Cell Too Complacent To Carry Out Attack
2007-07-17
SAN CLEMENTE, CA —Five years after settling in southern California and trying to blend into American society, a six-man terrorist cell connected to the militant Islamist organization Army of Martyrs has reportedly grown too complacent to conduct its suicide mission, an attack on the San Onofre Nuclear Generating Station.

According to cell leader and boat owner Jameel al-Sharif, the potentially devastating operation, which involves breaching the station's reactor core and triggering a meltdown that could rival the Chernobyl disaster, "can wait."
"We remain wholly committed to the destruction of America , the Great Satan," al-Sharif said. "But now is not a good time for us. The season finale of Lost was such a cliff- hanger that we have to at least catch the first episode of the new season. After that, though, death to the infidels."
Posted by:Besoeker

#13  Onion is prime fodder, identified early on. Great satire.

maybe a separate area for humor
my concern is if I'm booted for noncompliance
Posted by: Frank G   2007-07-17 20:54  

#12  maybe a separate area for humor
Posted by: mhw   2007-07-17 19:44  

#11  no visible means of support, either....
Posted by: Bobby    2007-07-17 18:21  

#10  Grace's caboose is certainly a delightful topic to .....................oh yeah, talk about.

Roowwwwwrrrrrr.
Posted by: AlanC   2007-07-17 18:00  

#9  You were talking about Grace's caboose . . . .
Posted by: gorb   2007-07-17 17:43  

#8  How do you expect me read this trash information if you keep showing Grace and her caboose on the right. My mind....keeps....wandering....What was I saying?
Posted by: AlmostAnonymous5839   2007-07-17 15:14  

#7  I think this is exactly what happened to a number of Soviet sleeper agents, however. They were sent to the US filled with a number of lies in their heads and living here more or less turned them without the CIA or anyone even trying.

Not sure it would work with a terrorist cell though.
Posted by: rjschwarz   2007-07-17 11:42  

#6  The problem with Onion articles is they are just as likely to reflect reality as twist it. F'r instance, that one about the honourable former Senator John Edwards, esq.: it turns out that he really is campaigning to end bad things. From a press release on the same day about New Orleans link

Finally, Edwards believes we need to protect the city and the region from weather and crime. As president, Edwards will do whatever is necessary to ensure that Katrina never happens again

That said, Onion articles are funny, and we need such things to keep us from going mad these days.
Posted by: trailing wife   2007-07-17 10:44  

#5  I find it rather funny, like often with the Onion; it's been a certain time since a Scrappleface was posted here, but I think those spoofs have a place here, if announced as such (no big deal here, though, no need to shame Besoeker or something), and reserved for opinion or local IMHO.
Posted by: anonymous5089   2007-07-17 09:16  

#4  It must be true if you read it on the internet.
Posted by: ed   2007-07-17 09:06  

#3  This is a six-week old article that appared in the Onion and is a spoof...how does such rubbish get onto Rantburg?
Posted by: HammerHead   2007-07-17 09:02  

#2  I really wish that submitters would identify the Onion articles as such in the headline.
Posted by: Rambler   2007-07-17 08:14  

#1  This is from the Onion, btw :-).
Posted by: anonymous5089   2007-07-17 07:22  

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