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| -Lurid Crime Tales- |
| Sweden: Angry beavers attack humans - Shots fired; several killed |
| 2007-08-08 |
| Angry beavers have managed to successfully scare off the locals after taking over a bathing area in Lindesberg in central Sweden. But local authorities have vowed to exterminate the current batch of river-dwelling rodents. I'd like to see that "vow" on video" The most recent incident came at the weekend as three generations of the same family were out enjoying a swim in the Bottenån river. A mother and her two children could only look on in horror as a beaver went on the attack, biting the children's grandmother until she bled. The older woman was also struck by the beaver's tail and was left needing hospital treatment, Nerikes Allehanda reports. There have previously also been reports of a beaver attacking a child on the same stretch of water. Not everybody is prepared for attacks of this kind, as beavers are generally regarded as being somewhat shy animals. "But if you're in the water and see a beaver you should watch out. In the water they see you as their enemy and will attack," said Leif Linder, who is responsible for curbing the beaver population in the area. On weekends, he's a sorcerer and answers to the name "Tim" Linder assured bathers that they would soon be able to breathe a sigh of relief: the entire beaver colony is to be wiped out. Four of the beavers in the area have already been shot. "Then we also have to destroy the lodge. Otherwise there is a risk that other beavers will move in. We're probably going to blow it up," said Linder. Yep, they're gonna blow it up, real good. |
| Posted by:mrp |
| #14 You know, Wynona had a big brown beaver… |
| Posted by: Eric Jablow 2007-08-08 22:25 |
| #13 Otters and Fisheys gloat as their plans for empire unfold??? |
| Posted by: JosephMendiola 2007-08-08 22:16 |
| #12 Karl Spacklerson: License to kill beavers by the government of the United Nations. Man, free to kill beavers at will. To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit - ever. They're like the Viet Cong - Varmint Cong. So you have to fall back on superior intelligence and superior firepower. And that's all she wrote. |
| Posted by: mrp 2007-08-08 21:54 |
| #11 Look for Saudi funded pine logs. |
| Posted by: Super Hose 2007-08-08 21:21 |
| #10 Meanwhile in other news... Angry jihadis have managed to successfully scare off the locals after taking over 2/3 of Malmö in southern Sweden. But local authorities have vowed to accomodate the current batch of city-dwelling rodents. |
| Posted by: twobyfour 2007-08-08 20:58 |
| #9 I like it. Add it in. |
| Posted by: tu3031 2007-08-08 15:27 |
| #8 tu3031 - at first I thought you said "bald beavers"... |
| Posted by: Rambler 2007-08-08 15:24 |
| #7 Bad Beavers on the Beach. This could be Lindsay Lohan's next movie... |
| Posted by: tu3031 2007-08-08 15:10 |
| #6 ...but are they islamic beavers? We will never know because of the rampant PC. |
| Posted by: JohnQC 2007-08-08 14:58 |
| #5 I've often dreamed of being attacked by a Swedish beaver. |
| Posted by: Nimble Spemble 2007-08-08 14:51 |
| #4 Mynd you, beaver bites Kan be pretti nåsti... |
| Posted by: Angie Schultz 2007-08-08 14:46 |
| #3 A Reading from the Book of Armaments, Chapter 4, Verses 16 to 20: Then did he raise on high the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, saying, "Bless this, O Lord, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the people did rejoice and did feast upon the lambs and toads and tree-sloths and fruit-bats and orangutans and breakfast cereals ... Now did the Lord say, "First thou pullest the Holy Pin. Then thou must count to three. Three shall be the number of the counting and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thou then proceedeth to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the number of the counting, be reached, then lobbest thou the Holy Hand Grenade in the direction of thine foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it." |
| Posted by: Mullah Richard 2007-08-08 14:37 |
| #2 A mother and her two children could only look on in horror as a beaver went on the attack, biting the children's grandmother Obviously failed to mind the warning signs: Bottenån Beavers present. Swim fast or die! |
| Posted by: Besoeker 2007-08-08 14:23 |
| #1 "That's no ordinary beaver! That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever laid eyes on." |
| Posted by: Mike 2007-08-08 14:19 |