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-Lurid Crime Tales-
WWN: FLY THE UN-FRIENDLY SKIES (Terrorists start own airline!)
2008-03-24
From the self-declared "World's Only Reliable Newspaper" (known at Rantburg as "the most trusted voice in major media.")

TERRORISTS have formed their own airline -- because they're afraid of getting on a plane that could be hijacked by other terrorists!

That's the incredible claim made by Amir Humad, a Saudi terrorist who was recently captured and is being held in a top-secret location.

"No one's going to hijack a plane when everyone else on the plane is a crazed terrorist," Humad says. "Sure, terrorists are crazy, but we're not crazy enough to get on a plane that might be hijacked."

Ironically, El-Al Queda, as the new airline is called, is the result of increased security on other airlines.

"It's hard to be a good terrorist when you can't even take a pair of box cutters on a plane," Humad says.

In fact, El-Al Queda has a very different approach to security.

"If you're NOT carrying a bomb or a weapon, it's hard to get on," an El-Al Queda baggage handler says. "We're in the business of spreading WMDs. We can't give seats to every little terroristwannabe."

And in the event a bomb does go off, blowing up the plane, the terrorists say there's no way to know which bomb caused it -- so each of the terrorists would get the 72 virgins they're promised when they go to heaven as a martyr.

"It's a win-win situation," says Humad.

They have their own newspapers, television networks, and universities, so why not an airline?
Posted by:Atomic Conspiracy

#5  I'm actually kind of amazed they haven't coopted some other airline . It's easier to crash a plane into a building if the pilot and copilot are members of your death cult. The passengers don't even have to know.
Posted by: rjschwarz   2008-03-24 16:10  

#4  It's so hard to find experienced suicide pilots these days.
Posted by: doc   2008-03-24 11:58  

#3  And these bastards still won't let you bring more than 4 ounces of liquid onto the flight.
Posted by: ed   2008-03-24 09:23  

#2  Who's the pilot? Bat Boy?
Posted by: Mullah Richard   2008-03-24 09:02  

#1  An Indonesian airline started flights to Australia shortly before 9/11.

Their advertising slogan,

'Let us fly you to paradise.'

They went bankrupt shortly after 9/11.
Posted by: Phil_B   2008-03-24 07:20  

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