Your tax dollars at work...The Department of Homeland Security has solicited a proposal from a Canadian security company to develop a stun bracelet.
In order to enhance the security of air travel and to help manage illegal immigration, the Department of Homeland Security has solicited a proposal from a Canadian security company to develop a passenger stun bracelet. Like the pain collars featured in the classic Star Trek episode The Gamesters of Triskelion, Lamperd Less Lethal's electro-muscular disruption (EMD) bracelet is intended to incapacitate wearers on remote command.
Yeah, I think somebody's been watching a little too much Star Trek....
A video at the Lampred Less Lethal Web site explains that the bracelet will obviate the need for a plane ticket and will help make passengers and baggage trackable while traveling. It also explains that the bracelet will provide in-flight security.
Welcome aboard Lightning Airways.
Heh. Cute...
"By further equipping the bracelet with EMD technology, the bracelets will allow crew members, using radio frequency transmitters, to quickly and effective subdue hijackers," the video explains. "The electro-muscular disruption signal overrides the attacker's central nervous system and will render even the most elite and aggressive terrorist completely immobile for several minutes."
Sounds like some diabolical Revenge of the Nerds...
As reported by The Washington Times, Lamperd's Web site hosts a copy of a letter from Paul S. Ruwaldt, an official with the Department of Homeland Security's Science and Technology Directorate, expressing interest in the bracelet. Ruwaldt did not immediately respond to a request to verify the authenticity of the undated letter or to comment on the Department of Homeland Security's apparent interest in the Lamperd Less Lethal bracelet. The Transportation Security Agency also did not immediately respond to a request for comment.
I'm sure they consider this "thinking outside the box"...
"In discussions with my colleagues and immediate superior, we find your ideas have merit and believe it would be of great help on the borders, and indeed for anywhere else, for which the temporarily [sic] restraint of large numbers of individuals in open area environments by a small number of agents or Law Enforcement Officers (LEOs)," the letter says, citing a meeting on July 18, 2006. "We see the potential uses to include prisoner transportation, detainee control, and military security forces might have some interest. In addition, it is conceivable to envision a use to improve air security, on passenger planes." The letter concludes by asking for a written proposal.
And ya got any videos? Everybody loves watching some poor schmuck get tasered.
Barry Lamperd, president and CEO of Lamperd Less Lethal, said that his company had been contracted to manufacture the bracelet by its inventor, Per Hahne, who was currently seeking funding for the device.
I don't trust anybody who looks like they're missing a bunch of letters in their name....
A 2003 patent assigned to co-inventors Per Hahne and Ray Wark describes a similar concept, a belt designed to administer a disabling electric shock to air travelers. The patent details "[a] method of providing air travel security for passengers traveling via an aircraft comprises situating a remotely activatable electric shock device on each of the passengers in position to deliver a disabling electrical shock when activated."
Shit, why not just turn all the seats into electric chairs?
Reached on a cell phone in his car, Hahne said he came up with the idea after the 9/11 terrorist attack, an event also cited in the patent description. "I like to call it the next generation of Taser," he said, "theirs being a one-shot deal and mine being a multiple-shot deal."
So, ya wanna grab my ass, huh, Studley?
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
This thing's great!
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Given the 9/11 scenario of airplane pilots grappling with attackers, Hahne said, "It was always my opinion that a pilot should not be engaged in armed combat while flying an aircraft."
Wow. He really is a smart guy....
Because there simply aren't enough air marshals to defend every flight, Hahne envisioned a way to empower air crews to better defend their planes. "My thought was to devise an instrument to allow every flight segment to be covered and to use the air crew as air marshals," he said.
What's up, Tiffany?
The old lady in 21A's giving me the hairy eyeball.
We'll see about that.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I hope this guy wins a Nobel Prize!
Who wants to play Zap Bingo?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Anticipating questions about passenger willingness to don a shock bracelet, Hahne was quick to defend the idea. "When people say they're not going to wear one, they need to be made aware that the bracelets are totally inert until the flight is airborne and the flight crew determines an attack is underway," he said.
But I've got a pacemaker.
Put it on, gramps, and can the lip. Or else...
| "Say honey, how'dya like to wear this cute bracelet?" "Up yours, shortie, I seen that trick before." |
