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| -Lurid Crime Tales- |
| Ohio inmate says he's too fat for execution |
| 2008-08-04 |
| COLUMBUS, Ohio - A death row inmate scheduled for execution says he's too fat to be put to death, claiming executioners would have trouble finding his veins and that his weight could diminish the effectiveness of one of the lethal injection drugs. Hang him with a piece of piano wire. The excess weight will probably speed up the process... Lawyers for Richard Cooey argue in a federal lawsuit that Cooey -- 5-feet-7 and 267 pounds -- had poor veins when he faced execution five years ago and the problem has been worsened by weight gain. ...and if that don't work, he'll be retarded. The lawsuit, filed Friday in federal court, also says prison officials have had difficulty drawing blood from Cooey for medical procedures. |
| Posted by:tu3031 |
| #11 Yeah, right, pal. I know a lady of my acquaintance who ballooned up while pregnant to about the same proportions as this guy (5'8", 275 lbs). If they could figure out how to anesthetize her for a c-section, I think they can figure out how to get this lardass ready for his special day. |
| Posted by: Swamp Blondie in the Cornfields 2008-08-04 21:12 |
| #10 A stout hemp rope was good enough in our grandparents' day... |
| Posted by: john frum 2008-08-04 19:41 |
| #9 A half dozen 12 Gauge shotgun slugs transiting his body at high velocity WILL take care of the issue. Or if he wants a more interesting death, stand him in front of an M1 and shoot him with a canister round. Course, my preference would be to drop him in a vat of molten glass and then put the block on display in the town square. |
| Posted by: Silentbrick 2008-08-04 19:32 |
| #8 This POS deserves no special consideration. The families of those two young girls have lived with the horror of what he did for more than 20 years. Any suffering he does while he leaves this mortal coil isn't a drop in the ocean compared to what he's caused, or what he deserves. What would be completely fair would be to execute him in the same way he did his victims--after first having him brutally beaten and raped. |
| Posted by: Hupiling the Galactic Hero1106 2008-08-04 19:24 |
| #7 Fat people die all the time. He's nothing special. |
| Posted by: ed 2008-08-04 19:16 |
| #6 Remove legs and then weigh him back in. I am sure he will make 'killing' weight no problem. |
| Posted by: airandee 2008-08-04 19:10 |
| #5 The guy shouldn't have raped and killed the two young women. You could put this guy on a Canada Greyhound bus with the crazy chinaman (Vince "Badger" Weiguang Li) with his hunting knife. Or you could fry him first and then give him a lethal injection. Or there is Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, and NutriSystem to get him ready--no need for a law suit. |
| Posted by: JohnQC 2008-08-04 18:30 |
| #4 I think one of the best French contribution to civilization should be used in cases like this. Paging Dr. Guillotine. Dr Joseph Guillotine! However, debate rages over whether the quickness of the execution was humane or not, as many doctors put forward the notion that it could take up to 30 seconds before the victim lost consciousness. |
| Posted by: CrazyFool 2008-08-04 17:35 |
| #3 Start giving him Clenbuterol and T3 every day. In 4 months he'll be ready to rock and roll. So to speak. That stuff makes you lose weight even if you sit on the couch all day. |
| Posted by: bigjim-ky 2008-08-04 17:25 |
| #2 Put him on a starvation diet for a few weeks before hand and see if htat helps. The fact that he'll be miserable is a plus. If that fails I'm sure we can think of something else. |
| Posted by: rjschwarz 2008-08-04 17:05 |
| #1 Here's our chance to appease the eco-whackies: Feed him to the polar bears. |
| Posted by: Atomic Conspiracy 2008-08-04 16:51 |