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| Housetraining the Media |
| 2008-09-14 |
| Dear Dog Trainer, I have a problem that is driving me crazy & I hope you can help. I married a wonderful woman named Representative Government a couple centuries ago. Our friends also call her Democracy. Anyway, along with her came her dog Media. At first Media seemed like a great addition to the family, protecting the house against thieves and fast talkers. Everyone in the neighborhood got a kick out of Media's daily info drops, the articles on local kid activities and the occasional thoughtful analysis. Everyone except old Joe Stickyfingers down at Town Hall, anyway, but he had it coming after that kickback scam he was running. Here's my problem though. A while back Media's behavior began to change. She stopped coming in when we called. She started growling at the kids, stealing the Internet router and guarding it in her crate, stuff like that. This election season it's really gotten out of hand, with Media and her friends messing on the carpets and chewing the furniture every time Gov. Palin is on TV. I've tried to control her but she's actually threatened me!! -- and I think her rabies vaccination has expired .... Some of my friends say the only option left is to put her down. But even if I could catch her without getting my throat ripped out Democracy has made it very plain she will divorce me, take the house and the kids and make sure I never work in this town again if I take Media on that last trip to the vet. Help! How can I housetrain Media and get her under control again? You're my only hope. (signed) Angry despairing citizen who wants his floors to stay clean and the Media dog to act responsibly Dear Citizen, You've got a problem, all right. But don't despair - dogs like Media secretly want and need the discipline of the pack to be happy and non-destructive. It will take some work and determination, but you can retrain her to become a useful member of the household and to respect your leadership once again. In fact, you can take a few tips from Gov. Palin in this regard. But first let's review the basics of dog training. Dogs learn by associating outcomes with behaviors. That's the basis of what we professionals call 'operant conditioning'. The dog operates on the environment and learns from the results. Behaviors that result in good things (rewards) get repeated. Rewards can be treats, praise, invitations to Sunday talk shows, subscription income, ad revenues, web page hits, links from other web sites. Anything that Media really wants is a potential reward. Lots of people make the mistake of relying on punishment to change a dog's behavior -- you know, the rolled-up paper threat for peeing on the floor. However, punishment is tricky to get right and can even be counterproductive unless it's done correctly. There are actually four levers you have in training the Media dog or a killer whale or your annoying neighbors. They are: a) Positive reinforcement -- giving the dog something she wants in response to a behavior you want b) Negative reinforcement -- removing something she dislikes in response to a behavior you want c) Positive punishment -- hitting, yelling etc. i.e. doing something she dislikes in response to a behavior you don't want d) Negative punishment -- removing something she likes in response to a behavior you don't want Of these four levers, positive reinforcement is by far the most effective in training a new behavior. (Stopping an unwanted behavior is a harder issue that we'll get to later in this column.) Giving a treat or praise whenever Media sits, comes when called, writes a fair and balanced news article -- this is the best way to train her to do something you want. Catch her doing it, even imperfectly, and treat her: she's bound to do it more often in hopes of getting rewarded again. When she does it really well, give her a particularly coveted treat: "extras for excellence". Sometimes, though, the behavior we want is overshadowed by the dog's instincts or acquired habits. Then we move to negative reinforcement: opening the door only when the dog quiets down, continuing on a walk only when she stops pulling at the lead. That sort of thing. Negative punishment can be very effective as well. In my house, a dog that growls over a chew bone in my presence goes in a crate for a timeout. Quite often that's all it takes to change that unwanted behavior. If a behavior is particularly dangerous, we might consider the carefully targeted use of positive punishment. My boy Charlie, now happily flushing birds in that great hunting field in the sky, had this down to a science when he was alpha dog of the pack here. When one of the other dogs disrupted the pack, taking away food or chewies from others for instance, Charlie stepped in. BOOM!!! Out of nowhere he would appear and in an instant the other dog was down on the ground with Charlie's fangs an inch from her neck. The look in Charlie's eyes said "Do it again and die." Not until the offender submitted did Charlie let her up. Why not rely on positive punishment alone? Unfortunately, for positive punishment to be effective it has to be immediate, consistent and credible. Charlie couldn't maintain order if he overlooked bad behavior sometimes or if he wasn't around to catch it. He couldn't come up to the offender an hour later and start whining about her behavior or nagging her to do better, either. And that look in his eye, the rumble deep in his throat and his bared teeth had to present a credible threat of real consequences. Only when all 3 conditions are met does positive punishment work. Okay, so these are the tools you have to work with in training Media: positive and negative reinforcement, positive and negative punishment. Now let's look at how to apply them in a comprehensive retraining program. Normally I would recommend that you "train a conflicting behavior". I.e. -- if she begs at the dinner table, train a "down" command and reward her for staying down while you eat. It's not going to be all kibble and treats in your case, however, because Media has already discovered all sorts of strong rewards for doing things you don't like, like biased coverage of Republican candidates and slanted reporting of war activities. She gets access to political influence, invitations to swank insider parties, TV time and a chance to influence elections as a result of her behaviors. So it's not surprising that she isn't paying any attention to you when you call her to heel. What gets rewarded gets repeated, so Media's behavior has gotten totally out of hand. She's messing on your political floor and using doctored photos from insurgents and the other party's sympathizers. Try to reprimand her and she threatens to tear out your throat, expose your divorce records or drag your kids through the mud with slimy rumors and innuendo. In cases like this we move directly to punishment to end this dangerous behavior before we can retrain Media into better habits. Remember the 3 requirements for punishment: to be effective it must be immediate, consistent and credible. Immediate: Any misbehavior on Media's part must generate an instantaneous response. Emails to the editor, columns on blogs, TV interviews exposing Media's actions -- be prepared to respond quickly and forcefully when she steps out of line. Consistent: This will take help. You, your family and your friends need to watch Media constantly. Fact-check her articles. Demand full transcripts and raw video from interviews and examine them for bias. Do not let a single offense slip by unnoticed. This will require great dedication on your part. It means someone you love will have to sit through Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews daily. Just keep telling yourself that this won't go on forever -- you will retrain Media with some effort and persistence. Credible: Above all, every egregious misbehavior by Media must trigger an immediate response that credibly threatens Media with consequences she really doesn't want. Such as: Try to swing this election and we will not only expose what you're doing, cancel subscriptions and write to advertisers, we will also organize a massive effort to elect the candidate you're trashing. In fact, we will organize a backlash that just might retake Congress too. Some behaviors are so egregious, so dangerous, that they demand a truly existential threat in response. So what is the equivalent of "do it again and DIE" for Media? It's withholding interviews and demanding independent videotaping of them, with the raw footage to go online immediately. It's developing alternate sources of reporting and analysis like Pajamas Media and weblogs. It's aggressive threats of libel lawsuits where appropriate. And above all it's having reformer politicians who are not going to Washington to seek Media's good favor, but who are going there to serve the people of this country. Media has bared her teeth at you and me. The first step in retraining her is to show no fear. The second step is to make it clear to her that we will be respected.If that works, Media can begin to get treats again for good behavior. And if not, well .... Sadly, there are dogs that just can't be rehabilitated and need to be put down. PS: Don't be surprised if Media's misbehavior gets worse and worse as you begin this training program. It's quite common for your dog to try harder and harder to assert the behavior she's used to being rewarded for. Animal behaviorists call this an "extinction burst" and note that it is worst just before they finally quit trying. Parents of toddlers know this as the "I'm not TIRED !!!!" tantrum that immediately preceeds falling fast asleep. Just stick to the program and Media will eventually give up. But remember: immediate, consistent and credible punishment for every misbehavior from here on out until she does. |
| Posted by:lotp |
| #12 You might point out to the breeders [the advertisers] that their product isn't selling anymore because of all the inbreeding and that they'd better be looking into a new stock to restart their business model. |
| Posted by: Procopius2k 2008-09-14 21:18 |
| #11 Stun gun? - LOL Hire Gov Sarah's ex-brother-in-law? Since he is out of work.... |
| Posted by: BigEd 2008-09-14 20:12 |
| #10 #7 Besides, you can't teach an old dog new tricks. You can, actually. But I'm not so sure the media is that smart or flexible. ;-( you'd be surprised what a stun gun could do |
| Posted by: Frank G 2008-09-14 17:21 |
| #9 Why the heck should we 'retrain' the media? Its been lying to us for over 40 years (see Tet Offensive and Walter Chronkite). In my opinion the existing media needs to die off (if not be killed off) right down to the 'schools of journalism' to the top of the New York Times and CNN. Its unreliable, biased, and simply cannot ever be trusted again. In its place we need a 'new media' and new type of journalism which operating much the way the old stype 'reporters' worked - giving hard news and not opinion. |
| Posted by: CrazyFool 2008-09-14 16:32 |
| #8 The MSM is dying. They will have nowhere near this influence next time. Things are on internet time now and MSM can't keep up. |
| Posted by: Nimble Spemble 2008-09-14 16:18 |
| #7 Besides, you can't teach an old dog new tricks. You can, actually. But I'm not so sure the media is that smart or flexible. ;-( |
| Posted by: lotp 2008-09-14 16:14 |
| #6 I don't think we will need to put the media down as rabies is a fatal disease. The only problem is that it will infect so many people before it goes.. Besides, you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Best to rely on your new dog Internet to help alert you whenever the rabid one draws near. I would say don't feed it, but that doesn't seem to help as it is as crazy as an angry meth junkie on a rampage. It seems to keep on going even though most people quit feeding it some time a ago. |
| Posted by: Betty Grating2215 2008-09-14 15:52 |
| #5 A really good teaching moment is when repeatedly disobedient members of the media are dragged kicking and screaming to the |
| Posted by: Frank G 2008-09-14 15:23 |
| #4 Once long ago I owned a horse, he kicked me once, I hauled off and kicked him as hard as I could in the belly. He never even tried to kick me again, several times I saw him cock his hind leg, think it over and set the leg down. Whe He came to live with us he wouldn't come when called, the lady I got him from said he never obeyed, so I put some small apples in my pocket and called, he didn't come so I ate the apple, he saw that. Next time he came when called and got his apple I never had another time he didn't come when called If he got an apple or not. (He got a plenty) I don't know if that would be called posiitive, or negative, but it worked. |
| Posted by: Redneck Jim 2008-09-14 15:07 |
| #3 When I was a kid, my dog Harry (bless his soul) used to love TCBY yogurt. Say the letters and he would go bonkers. He would run to the door and jump and yelp and otherwise carry on. Knowing this, we only said it when we were going to pick some up and bring it home - giving him his own cup of strawberry flavored. On one of these occasions, I put him in the car, then for some reason I don't remember any longer, we had to cancel that trip. When I tried ot get him out of the car, he would not come when called, so I reached in to take him out of the car and he bit me. The little bastard actually got blood through my jean jacket. At which point I did what any red blooded young male would do to re-establish dominance. I grabbed him by the color and in one move, yanked him out of the car and flung his misbedavin' ass across the driveway. He never bit me again. The media has long ago stopped challenging the people for alpha status and assumed it. Make no mistake ladies and gentlemen, this dog has bitten us. It's time to grab it's collar and fling it's misbehavin' ass in the direction of that tree over there. |
| Posted by: Mike N. 2008-09-14 14:12 |
| #2 Operant conditioning works on cats too AS. The trick is to figure out what rewards them. I've used broiled salmon with cats who don't get their dinner until after our training session. ;-) Yes, partial reinforcement is incredibly powerful. That's why it's so important that any punishment regime be really consistent and immediate and credible. Anything less will simply reinforce them to keep doing what they're used to doing. The key, I think, is to keep the focus on the media. Educate the audience if you can, but keep that rolled up newspaper close to hand, keep a careful watch on what they do and be ready to put them down HARD when they pull crap. Do it again and DIE. A motto to embrace this election season wrt the media IMO. It's not going to be easy, it will require the commitment of a lot of people. But I'm beginning to sense that many of us have reached that same line in the sand with the treatment of Sarah Palin and her kids. |
| Posted by: lotp 2008-09-14 13:30 |
| #1 What if it's not a dog? What if it's a cat? What if it's remembered that whining got you to open the door and let her out at night _once_ back in 1994, and by gum she's not going to stop trying now for hours at a time, reward or not... (And no, I'm not joking. Remember that partial reinforcement is a more powerful behavior control mechanism than anything else, especially for humans. The fact that people can make money by owning slot machines should be warning enough to us.) Also, we're not paying attention enough to how the propaganda machines worked in other countries. _Everyone_ knew the press was lying to them there. And everyone rejected 70% of what the press was saying. And thought they were clever, while they accepted the 30% or so 'payload' the government wanted them to. It was within the design parameters of the propaganda program. |
| Posted by: Abdominal Snowman 2008-09-14 13:10 |