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| Olde Tyme Religion |
| Lawsuit against God is tossed out |
| 2008-10-16 |
| Anybody out there from Nebraska who knows this kook? An unlisted address is proving to be God’s best legal weapon against a mortal but tenacious Nebraska state senator. Heh. God plans ahead against frivolous lawsuits. A Douglas County District Court judge on Tuesday threw out state Sen. Ernie Chambers’ lawsuit against God because the Almighty wasn’t served a legal notice. And the judge doesn’t seem to think it’s possible to find the Almighty’s front door. “Given that this court finds that there can never be service effectuated on the named defendant this action will be dismissed with prejudice,’’ Judge Marlon Polk wrote in his four-page order. Bet this made that two years of law school seem all worth it, didn't it, judgey wudgey? Just over a year ago Chambers, the longest serving — and maybe the most powerful — state senator in Nebraska history, sought a permanent injunction against God. He said the Almighty has made terroristic threats against the senator and his constituents in Omaha, inspired fear and caused “widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth’s inhabitants.’’ I can only imagine what his constituents are like... Chambers has said he filed the lawsuit to make the point that everyone should have access to the courts regardless of whether they are poor or have the means of billionaire Warren Buffett of Omaha. Even a loon like...myself. But the judge ruled that under state law a plaintiff must have access to the defendant for a lawsuit to move forward. Is there a Mister...God present? Mister God, please step forward. Chambers, who graduated from law school but never took the bar exam, thinks he’s found a hole in the judge’s ruling. I got your loophole! State law don't apply to me, dammit! “The court itself acknowledges the existence of God,’’ Chambers, who is not returning to the Legislature next year because of term limits, said on Wednesday. “A consequence of that acknowledgment is a recognition of God’s omniscience. Therefore, God would have actual notice of that lawsuit.’’ It says below he's been there 38 years! What are the term limits? 40 years? “Since God knows everything, God has notice of this lawsuit.’’ God also probably knows you're nuts and didn't wanna waste his time. Chambers has 30 days to decide whether to appeal the decision and said he hasn’t decided yet whether to file one. Be a hoot if he gets struck by lightning or...sumthin. During a court appearance in August, while sitting a few feet away from an empty table reserved for God and God’s attorney, Chambers argued that courts and the U.S. government already routinely take notice of God. Should've had an impersonator show up and watch Ernie have a heart attack... Chambers regularly skipped morning prayers during his 38 years in the legislature and often criticizes Christians. Picture of him at the link. He looks like the guy fishing empties out of my recycling... |
| Posted by:tu3031 |
| #8 Just a tribute to the famous lawsuit United States ex rel. Gerald Mayo v. Satan and His Staff. |
| Posted by: Eric Jablow 2008-10-16 20:29 |
| #7 "Is there a Mister...God present? Mister God, please step forward" Maybe that's the problem. People call God "Him" and "Father" all the time, and she's getting tired of it. And Ernie? Better hope she doesn't answer you anytime soon. |
| Posted by: Barbara Skolaut 2008-10-16 19:34 |
| #6 He'll be mighty sorry when he's a pillar of salt... Or maybe a chicken. |
| Posted by: Fred 2008-10-16 18:40 |
| #5 He said the Almighty has made terroristic threats against the senator and his constituents in Omaha... If, and we say if, he did such things, I'd for one would pay attention. You know Noah and all that. If the Real Big One(c) is sending you those kinds of messages I'd really have to examine what I did to provoke them. Cause being the RBO means that warnings are not necessary, just a final [no appeals] judgment. [Then again, bearing false witness is probably on the tab now too. Good luck on all that.] |
| Posted by: Procopius2k 2008-10-16 18:24 |
| #4 Veddy veddy bad juju. Whether you believe or do not, don't mess with God. Bad Karma, heh. |
| Posted by: Alaska Paul 2008-10-16 15:50 |
| #3 It's a bit pointless, a bit like Pascal's equation, if God doesn't exist, you're wasting time, yours (not too bad, probably, keeps you occupied) and other's (who have actual jobs, you know)... and if He exists, you're achieving nothing, except just sticking out of the crowd and putting yourself in a bad light... which may have serious consequence, just check the Old Testament. |
| Posted by: anonymous5089 2008-10-16 15:15 |
| #2 "George Burns to the Heavenly White Courtesy Phone, please." |
| Posted by: USN,Ret. 2008-10-16 14:25 |
| #1 Sounds like his cheese has slid a little bit too far off his cracker. |
| Posted by: Deacon Blues 2008-10-16 13:52 |