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India-Pakistan
Nuggets from the Urdu press
2009-01-12
Hen that lays eggs abroad
Columnist Akhtar Hussain Sheikh wrote in daily Pakistan that a retired armyman told him that Pakistan could repay all of its foreign debts by forcing Pakistanis to bring back their stashed-away dollars from abroad. This could be done by making this a precondition of election participation. The politicians would be so interested in being elected and making more money that they would bring back their own stashed-away dollars.

Do what parliament says!
Reported in Jang, parliament's powerful Special Committee on National Security called on the government to enforce its decision to adopt the policy of shooting down America drones. The Committee heard the ISI chief and other military officers before making the call.

Children uncover tank
According to Daily Pakistan, children playing near a refuse dump in Faisal Town in Lahore uncovered an armoured tank. After being informed of the find, the local police had the tank removed from the dump. It was said to have been a leftover from the 1965 war with India.

Shireen Mazari on Mumbai attacks
Quoted by Khabrain, Pakistan's top intellectual Shireen Mazari said that the Mumbai attacks were carried out by extremist Hindus and that Pakistan should not welcome American Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice to Pakistan. Pakistan should take strong decisions when it comes under pressure from India and America.

Atom bomb not for 'shab-e-barat'
Ex-interior minister and ex-prime minister and president of PMLQ Chaudhry Shujaat Hussain was quoted by Khabrain as saying that Pakistan's nuclear bomb was not made to fire on the day of shab-e-barat (annual day of fireworks). When Pakistan needs to fire the bomb, it will do so against India.

We can hit any city in India!
Nuclear scientist Dr Samar Mubarak Mand was quoted by Express as saying that Pakistan's missiles could hit any city in India and that Pakistan could fire these missiles at ten minutes' notice. He said Pakistan's test missiles weighed 30 tonnes whereas India's weighed only 10.

Indian hands at play
Quoted in daily Pakistan, politician and ex-religion minister of PMLQ Ijazul Haq said that India was behind the violence in Karachi because it was working together with CIA and Mossad. He said India blamed Pakistan without proof whereas Pakistan had proof of Indian involvement in Balochistan but it had refrained from levelling accusations.

Kasur bar gets lawyer beaten with 'joota'
According to Jang, a lawyer at Kasur district courts, Mr Mazhar Iqbal quarrelled with female lawyer Miss Afshan till the two became engaged in hatha-pai (wrestling), during which the male lawyer delivered repeated thappar (slaps) to Miss Afshan. Later Kasur Bar Association took notice of the incident and made Miss Afshan beat the male doctor with her joota (curly-toed slipper shoe). He was also suspended from Bar Association membership.

Story of 'kashkol'
Writing in daily Pakistan, Major (Retd) Muhammad Yunus stated that there had been a great dhoom (fame) of kashkol (begging bowl) for the last 20 years in Pakistan. People celebrated whenever the government of the day managed to break the kashkol. They vowed that they would stay hungry but not suffer the humiliation of going around with kashkol in hand. Today, of course, another government has again picked up the kashkol, carried out the required repairs on it before going begging anew. Now kashkol has become Pakistan's mascot.

'Khaal war' is on
Daily Aajkal quoted Allama Arshad Hassan of Jamia Ashrafiya in Lahore as saying that before every Eid al-Azha the war for the hides (khaal) was fought by one and all. In some cities, parties collected hides of sacrificed animals at gunpoint. In many cases hides were collected by one and snapped up by another. Thus many lives were lost to the khaal war. In one city, men were advised to carry guns with them when going to collect hides.

Hindu suicide bomber in Mumbai attacks
Renowned religious TV anchor Dr Amir Liaquat Hussain wrote in Jang that RAW and Israel had cooperated to stage the Mumbai attacks. This was proven by a photograph of that showed one of the terrorists wearing a sacred thread on his wrist that only Hindus are known to wear. RAW and Israel were so incompetent that they allowed the Hindu suicide bomber to keep wearing the thread while pretending to be a Muslim.

PPP and 'piyar ki peengain'
Writing in Nawa-e-Waqt, columnist Jamshed Chishti stated that India had broken all records of levelling false accusations against Pakistan but that the PPP government had fallen victim to the intense fever of promoting piyar ki peengain (flirting) with India. President Zardari was guilty of making the outrageous statement that Pakistan did not fear India and India should not fear Pakistan. And now the ghanti (bell) of danger had changed into a ghanta (giant bell) of danger.

Kashmir is the real problem
Columnist Nazir Naji wrote in Jang that the real problem between India and Pakistan was Kashmir. But it also represented a problem of Pakistani politics where all kinds of politicians tried to become powerful by championing the cause of Kashmir. It became so bad at one point that the politicians of East Pakistan began to describe Kashmir as a game played by West Pakistan politicians. Kashmir was used to empower the army and give it more resources so that it could rule Pakistan.

Columnist and tears
Writing in Express, Javed Chaudhry stated that when he saw the photograph of a little girl, Ambreen, who had died due to lack of medicine, the corners of his eyes became "filled with warm salt liquid which threatened to become rivulets coursing down his cheeks". But he made an effort to keep them balanced on his eyelashes. He did not want grief over Ambreen to flow away with his tears.

Zardari's bad move
Columnist Haroon Rashid stated in Jang that President Zardari should not have accepted that Pakistani non-state actors had attacked Mumbai because there was still no proof that anyone from Pakistan was involved. He said the Mumbai attacks had required the kind of long training that Pakistan's jihadi organisations could not have provided.
Posted by:Fred

#6  Frank wins the thread! :-D
Posted by: Barbara Skolaut   2009-01-12 19:28  

#5  It was said to have been a leftover from the 1965 war with India.

It was still in Reverse
Posted by: Frank G   2009-01-12 19:26  

#4  ...children playing near a refuse dump in Faisal Town in Lahore uncovered an armoured tank. After being informed of the find, the local police had the tank removed from the dump...

When I was a kid we would have never told the police about finding an old tank because we would have been having waaaaay too much fun playing in it.
Posted by: Ebbang Uluque6305   2009-01-12 15:43  

#3  the corners of his eyes became "filled with warm salt liquid which threatened to become rivulets coursing down his cheeks".

Does Javed get paid by the word? Or did someone throw acid in his face?
Posted by: tu3031   2009-01-12 11:19  

#2  Javed Chaudhry reminds me of Chris Mathews.

Posted by: Jack is Back   2009-01-12 10:22  

#1  Geez, and I thought Paleostinians were wacky.
Posted by: Spot   2009-01-12 08:02  

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