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-Short Attention Span Theater-
NZ mall deploys ultimate weapon against unruly teens: Barry Manilow!
2009-03-03
WELLINGTON, New Zealand (AP) - It'll be Barry Manilow versus the mall rats. The New Zealand city of Christchurch hopes that putting the American crooner's smooth and gentle tones into the mix of music to be broadcast through the central mall district can pacify unruly teens who congregate there- or at least convince them to go elsewhere.

"The intention is to change the environment in a positive way ... so nobody feels threatened or intimidated," Central City Business Association manager Paul Lonsdale told The Associated Press. "I did not say Barry Manilow is a weapon of mass destruction."

A group of several dozen young people regularly spread rubbish, spray graffiti, get intoxicated, use drugs, swear and intimidate patrons at the outdoor mall, he said. The city council, police and local property owners covering 410 businesses agree that "nice, easy listening" music like Manilow's "Can't Smile Without You,""Mandy" and other hits might change the behavior of loitering teens.

But one 16-year-old told The Press newspaper that unfashionable music wouldn't deter them. "We would just bring a stereo and play it louder," Emma Belcher said. ...
Posted by:Mike

#5  If this doesn't work, put on MacArthur Park!
Posted by: Eric Jablow   2009-03-03 22:21  

#4  How would you tell the difference between that and some of the current generation?

Besides I think the ICC might get involved in the deployment of a Weapon of Mass Whinning....
Posted by: CrazyFool   2009-03-03 21:07  

#3  This won't end well. It'll just produce a generation of effete, nasally, whiny young people.
Posted by: ed   2009-03-03 20:37  

#2  See, instead the mall should hire themselves a few mafia goons who will quietly take the teens outside, beat them up, steal their money and gadgets and ensure happiness for all. You can even put the videos of the beatings on display for the normal mallgoers to enjoy as they shop in peace and quiet.
Posted by: Silentbrick   2009-03-03 20:36  

#1  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, NOT BARRY!

D *** NG IT, MORIARITY, ONCE AGAIN THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T SEND IN THE MARINES AND AIRBORNE TO INVADE NEW ZEALAND!
Posted by: JosephMendiola   2009-03-03 18:12  

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