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| Russian General: Satellite Collision Was U.S. Plot |
| 2009-03-06 |
| That satellite collision 500 miles above the Earth last month? All a Yankee plot, says a Russian general. Maj. Gen. (Ret.) Leonid Shershnev, identified as the former chief of Russia's military space intelligence, tells the Kremlin-run RIA Novosti press agency that the cosmic crack-up may have been a test of U.S. space-weapon technology. Officially, a defunct Russian satellite collided with an American telecommunications bird, one of 66 owned and operated by the Iridium company which relay signals to and from satellite phones on Earth. Shershnev doesn't buy it. He thinks the American satellite was really one of the two used in the 2007 Orbital Express experiment, a NASA-Pentagon joint venture in which one satellite hooked up with and refueled another. That program was officially shut down nearly two years ago. Shershnev thinks it may be still running, that Orbital Express has reached its goal to "develop technology that would allow monitoring and inspections of orbital spacecraft by fully-automated satellites equipped with robotic devices," and that it can now do even more. According to RIA Novosti's paraphrase of the general's words, the U.S. may now be "capable of manipulating 'hostile satellites,' including their destruction, with a single command from a ground control center." Yes general, it is referred to here as dynamic galactic sensor reprogramming or DGSR. We overcame the language coding challenges in 1979. |
| Posted by:Besoeker |
| #8 If we really had that power, we'd drop it on he Kremlin. |
| Posted by: Redneck Jim 2009-03-06 12:25 |
| #7 And then there's this. Interesting. |
| Posted by: Ebbang Uluque6305 2009-03-06 12:08 |
| #6 I'm sure Obama could clear this all up with a private note to his pal Putin. |
| Posted by: DoDo 2009-03-06 11:50 |
| #5 Y'know, apropos nothing, the Russians revere Lenin's tomb, but to us it's just another communist plot. |
| Posted by: Thing From Snowy Mountain 2009-03-06 11:49 |
| #4 Yeah General! Don't mess with us! |
| Posted by: Galactic Coordinator Omavising9607 2009-03-06 11:45 |
| #3 Sigh... General, why would the US military be plotting nefarious orbital derring-do with an operational Iridium sat in vital use by our own ground forces, and an ABANDONED COMMIE HULK? Wouldn't we want to, oh, I don't know, REVERSE THE PARTICIPANTS? Classically, irrationally paranoid Russian bullshit. |
| Posted by: Mitch H. 2009-03-06 11:28 |
| #2 No... the Russian sat moved after appearing to be dead for awhile. End of story. |
| Posted by: 3dc 2009-03-06 11:07 |
| #1 According to RIA Novosti's paraphrase of the general's words, the U.S. may now be "capable of manipulating 'hostile satellites,' including their destruction, with a single command from a ground control center." Actually, general, all they have to do is use their psychic powers to think about it happening and it happens. Be afraid, commie... |
| Posted by: tu3031 2009-03-06 10:49 |