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| Olde Tyme Religion |
| Make sure your wife is not your sister! |
| 2009-03-22 |
| MADINAH: Islamic law prohibits marriage with one’s wet nurse (for men), her husband (for women), her biological children and any nonbiological children she breast-fed. All such individuals are described as the person’s “mahram.” Since there is no official system of documenting the names and identities of children who have been breast-fed by a woman, some young men and women sometimes end up accidentally marrying someone suckled by their own wet nurse. This can cause difficulties when couples find out later in life. If they have children, then things can be an even bigger problem. “We were married for seven years before we discovered we were brothers and sisters. My mother-in-law had breast-fed me,” said Hayat, a schoolteacher from Madinah. “We were lucky as we had no children,” she said, adding that she and her ex-husband only learned that she had been nursed by his mother when an old family friend visited her home. “She was astonished to find we were married. She reminded my mother that when she had had puerperal fever after giving birth to me, my former mother-in-law breast-fed me and that my marriage to her son was thus forbidden,” she said. Hayat and her husband divorced and remarried, subsequently becoming parents with their new spouses. Hayat said she does not regret separating, as she did not really love her ex-husband in the way one loves their spouse. The story of Umm Abdul Aziz is more tragic. She was married for 30 years and mothered nine children before discovering her husband was her foster brother. “It happened out of the blue. An elderly man came to my husband one day and told him that we had been suckled by the same woman. He even knew people who knew of this and could testify as witnesses. We were greatly shocked and deeply saddened,” she said. Umm Abdul Aziz said that since her children were old and some of them had traveled abroad to study, she and her husband felt it was needless to ruin their lives and decided to keep the matter a secret and continue living together as brother and sister and not as partners. Since the question of who has breast-fed whom depends mainly on people’s memories, many people say there is a need to record such occurrences in order to avoid future problems. Umm Hussein, an elderly woman, said she had breast-fed many children for over 30 years. “I was fertile. I had nine children of my own. I fed another 15 children,” she said, adding that she cannot remember all of the children she has breast-fed. Siham, an Egyptian nurse, said she has breast-fed a number of her Saudi friends’ babies “to deepen the Arab bond among people of the two countries.” Discussing one particular case, she said she had helped a Saudi friend who could not breast-feed her baby girl. “After she was discharged from hospital, my Saudi friend also breast-fed my baby boy who is a month older than her daughter. They are now brothers and sisters although they are from two different countries,” she said. Social worker Fatima Muhammad Al-Suwaisi underlined the problems that can be caused by not keeping records of who breast-fed whom. “The husband and wife will suffer tremendous psychological and social pain when they discover after marriage that they are foster brothers and sisters,” she said. |
| Posted by:Classer |
| #10 Breast-Feeding a Man in Islam |
| Posted by: tipper 2009-03-22 15:26 |
| #9 is breastfeeding other ppls children a common practice anywhere else besides the ME? Since forever, well-off women have sent their babies to wet nurses, or brought them in. Sending them off kept them safe from chaotic households full of armed and cranky menfolk and plotting relatives, and kept Mama from getting too attached if Baby should die, as was common. Bringing in a wet nurse ensured she was properly fed and Baby sheltered from outside dangers. In both cases Mama kept her figure and her fancy clothes, and was available for breeding the next child sooner than the normal three years duration to full weaning until the last century. |
| Posted by: trailing wife 2009-03-22 15:23 |
| #8 Hint - if'n yer chilluns can touch their shoulder blades together, then you married your sister, just like your daddy did... |
| Posted by: M. Murcek 2009-03-22 13:41 |
| #7 Is it possible that there is a (well deserved) suspicion that Papa was getting to the wet nurse and the kids are probably true siblings? And if so was it so common that "laws" had to be made to minimize inbreeding? |
| Posted by: tipover 2009-03-22 13:22 |
| #6 is breastfeeding other ppls children a common practice anywhere else besides the ME? It was at one time a common occurence in the South. Are you familiar with the term Wet-nurse? |
| Posted by: Shipman 2009-03-22 12:48 |
| #5 "We're muslims. Your science doesn't apply to us." |
| Posted by: Parabellum 2009-03-22 12:09 |
| #4 Just more wisdom from the Prophet. He who lives by literalism shall perish by it also. |
| Posted by: Richard of Oregon 2009-03-22 10:57 |
| #3 is breastfeeding other ppls children a common practice anywhere else besides the ME? |
| Posted by: rabid whitetail 2009-03-22 10:57 |
| #2 "Since the question of who has breast-fed whom depends mainly on people's memories, many people say there is a need to record such occurrences in order to avoid future problems." No, a change in this ridiculous belief is needed. Free clue: Somebody breastfeeding you as a baby DOES NOT make you kin to their children (if you weren't already). Parabellum has it right. :-( |
| Posted by: Barbara Skolaut 2009-03-22 10:25 |
| #1 But marrying your first cousin is OK. Morons, barbarians and ignoramuses, all of them. |
| Posted by: Parabellum 2009-03-22 09:59 |