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| -Lurid Crime Tales- | ||
| Gophers, I Mean Golfers arrested after fighting off gang attempting to steal clubs | ||
| 2009-06-22 | ||
| Eight people were arrested following the incident at Sundridge Park Golf Course on Sunday. Two youths, aged 17 and 13 were also taken to south London hospitals with head injuries. The 17-year-old is in stable condition in hospital while the 13-year-old was later discharged and subsequently arrested. Officer: "Sir, how many times did you hit him in the head? Golfer: "I don't know 3 maybe 4. Put me down for a 3". According to reports, the players were about to tee off on the fourth hole of the course in Bromley, Kent, when they were confronted by a group of teenagers brandishing planks of wood. Despite the group threatening to attack them if they did not hand over their golfing equipment, the golfers apparently fought back. An eyewitness, who did not wish to be named, said: "Everyone had a weapon and they were just trading blows. There's nothing like the sound of a Driver hitting the side of some Punk's punkin. Kinda rounds out the game. "The golfers stood their ground, though. I guess because they had their clubs as protection." There is more than one reason they are called Clubs. As well as the 13-year-old, two other teenagers were arrested, including a 15-year-old boy from Downham and a 16-year-old boy from St Mary Cray on suspicion of affray. Suspicion of Affray? That's a new one. A 33-year-old woman, from Downham, and a 49-year-old man, from Plaistow, have been arrested on the affray charges. Can't upset the other Golfers now can we. Officers also arrested a 53-year-old man, from Hayes, on suspicion of causing actual bodily harm and a 48-year-old man, from Keston, on suspicion of causing GBH, while a 39-year-old man, from Plaistow, was arrested on suspicion of disorderly conduct. GBH= Great Bodily Harm I guess. A Driver to the noggin will do that.
Seems to me that if the punks haden't threatened the golfers there would not have been any mayhem, ergo, the punks are at fault. English logic excapes me. "We just do not know what happened. We will be dealing with the matter in full with a full inquiry when information is available." A Metropolitan Police spokesman said: "We can confirm there was an incident at Sundridge Park Golf Course on Sunday, May 10 at 17:00 hrs Brilliant deduction! "Several youths descended on the golf course and allegedly started being abusive and threatening golfers. There were several altercations between them and golfers. At one stage a large group of people, thought to be relatives of the youths, arrived at the golf course and joined in the altercation. A Free-for-all! A regular Bashing! "Police and ambulance attended. Two youths were taken to south London hospitals with head injuries. A head is much easier to hit than a golf ball.
He has a golf-ball sized lump on his punkin with the word PING indented. "Eight arrests have been made. Seven at the scene and one this morning at a home address. All arrested are still in custody. Further arrests are expected." | ||
| Posted by:Deacon Blues |
| #15 No 'h', RF. |
| Posted by: Pappy 2009-06-22 21:08 |
| #14 Baie dankie, menheer, (sp?). |
| Posted by: Rhodesiafever 2009-06-22 18:54 |
| #13 scum on one side, golfers on the other.... I'm so conflicted..... 8p |
| Posted by: Thravinter Guelph1843 2009-06-22 18:48 |
| #12 A bit late but 'n Heerlike Vanderdag to you RF. |
| Posted by: Besoeker 2009-06-22 18:13 |
| #11 I worked there green-keeping for a spell many years ago. Even in those days, Downham was just a place one drove through and St Mary's Cray a place to be avoided. There is an East course and a West course, so, with 36 holes within the boundaries of Greater London, the place is prestigous, although I wouldn't say this is Class War, just an indication of what can happen to anyone anywhere anytime in the UK these days. Anyone can be a target for these scum. |
| Posted by: Rhodesiafever 2009-06-22 18:07 |
| #10 It would be interesting to come back to this in a few weeks, after the police have had a chance to sort things out a bit. In England it seems possible to get charged with a crime for defending oneself, but will it happen here? |
| Posted by: Richard of Oregon 2009-06-22 17:11 |
| #9 With a nod to Monty Python "Bring out the Holy Nine Iron of St Andrew" |
| Posted by: James Carville 2009-06-22 16:43 |
| #8 Fear the Holy 9-Iron! |
| Posted by: Pappy 2009-06-22 16:09 |
| #7 Sounds like the membership needs to expand to include a Soprano inductee. I suspect charges would be dropped [for lack of witnesses] and proper decorum returned to the holes. You'll get that when the state is more interested in 'process' and its own power than providing 'justice'. |
| Posted by: Procopius2k 2009-06-22 15:39 |
| #6 GBH=Grievous Bodily Harm |
| Posted by: Grunter 2009-06-22 15:10 |
| #5 Anybody who has ever played Gleneagles International, a nifty little 9 hole course, in San Francisco, off Sunnyvale in McLaren Park, knows how dangerous golf can be under similar circumstances. Holes, 3, 4 and 5 border "project" housing and even though it is fenced it is still easy to be confronted "for some spending money". Once I had teed off on 3 (a downhill par 4) when I saw two cop cars (lights blazing) come screaming to a halt and begin to run after two guys who jumped the fence and started running across the fairway over to the 6th fairway. Four cops had their guns out and so did the bad boyz while I was discovering the taste of bark on an eucalyptus tree that I was seriously pinned to while the gunfight got underway. It was soon resolved by a SFPD helicopter and SWAT team taking over the golf course. At least I didn't have to give up any "spending money". |
| Posted by: Jack is Back! 2009-06-22 14:29 |
| #4 And now the thugs know why they are called golf CLUBS. |
| Posted by: CrazyFool 2009-06-22 14:00 |
| #3 I guess these yoots hav never seen the opening sequence of 2001: A Space Odyssey. |
| Posted by: Atomic Conspiracy 2009-06-22 13:51 |
| #2 This is class warfare. The golfers are considered upper class and therefore at fault for everything that happened, regardless of facts. |
| Posted by: Lagom 2009-06-22 13:34 |
| #1 "FORE!" (thunk) |
| Posted by: mojo 2009-06-22 13:27 |