Embattled Gov. David Paterson is pulling out all the stops to save his job. "Gentlemen, we've got to save my phoney baloney job!"
He plans to mount a major ad blitz to tell New Yorkers about all the good things he's done for the Empire State.
"Like roads and bridges and conserving Noo York's Buffalo and Lackawanna herds for future generations!"
The election may be over, but the political ads aren't.
They never end, just keep on gobbling up money that people are for some reason willing to spend to buy politicians...
The governor is now taking to the air waves to convince New Yorkers he deserves to stay in office. "What it's geared to do is talk about his very good record over the last year, the things he's done for the state, including closing a $35 billion budget," said veteran political consultant Bill Lynch.
"Who was it that took over after Spitzer crashed and burned? It wuz me! I am not Elliott Spitzer! That's something, ain't it?"
The ads are aimed at improving Paterson's low poll numbers and sending a message to other Democrats, including President Barack Obama, that he is determined to seek another term in office. "Once people know the things he's done for this state they will start to look at him differently," said Lynch.
"Revulsion will turn to adoration, mark my words! All it takes is a few million to interrupt Gilligan reruns!"
Paterson, whose popularity currently hovers in the 20 percent range, was seriously wounded when Obama let it be known he didn't want Paterson to run because Republicans like Rudy Giuliani consistently
According to one poll, he comes in fourth in a two-man race between Giuliani and Cuomo...
But Obama's recent lack of success in backing local candidates, including New Jersey Gov. Jon Corzine, has empowered Paterson.
"I'm just as incompetent as Corzine! Why shouldn't I get to be governor for six or seven terms? Or even a full term?"
"The President went to New Jersey five times for Corzine and wasn't able to turn that around, so I think here in New York, New Yorkers know everything is local," said Lynch.
Giuliani and Cuomo and even Joe Doaks are also local Noo Yorkers.
But that's not all Paterson is doing.
"But wait! There's more!"
He's bringing on board campaign powerhouse Harold Ickes, who was former President Bill Clinton's Deputy Chief of Staff.
Hiring a local boy like that's always good...
Will all this help the popularity-challenged governor?
My guess is "no." What's yours?
At least one lawmaker thinks so.
There's always a dumbass in every crowd, isn't there?
"I think he's a viable candidate already. He's the governor. Anybody that's the governor is a viable candidate to begin with. I think it can only help make him more viable," said Sen. Bill Perkins (D-Manhattan).
"The fact that people throw fruit and dog turds at him when he speak is beside the point. A little bit better PR guy and he'll be fine! Trust me on this. I'm a politician!"
Paterson's political future is hanging in the balance. If the ads are successful they could make popular state Attorney General Andrew Cuomo think twice about a primary challenge.
They'll have to be damned successful to stunt the ambition of Andrew Cuomo.
If they're not, it could force him to re-assess his candidacy.
I'd be thinking seriously about a rewarding career in the food service industry if I was him.