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-Signs, Portents, and the Weather-
Nessie, we hardly knew ye!
2010-01-08
Is the Loch Ness Monster dead?

Fears are being raised for the famous creature following a lack of 'credible' sightings during the past year.

The Loch Ness Monster may be dead, according to a leading Nessie enthusiast.

Gary Campbell, president of the Official Loch Ness Monster Fan Club, said only one sighting - made just off the Clansman Hotel on June 6 last year - was judged in his opinion to have been the only 'credible' report of the monster in 2009.

Mr Campbell stated such reports are increasingly rare. He added: "That's why we're so relieved to have heard about this sighting. In June, when it was reported, nobody had seen anything for a year. If it hadn't been for that one, we would have been really, really worried. There is an embarrassment factor to seeing Nessie. The first thing people say to you is, 'Had you had a drink?'"

The Nessie enthusiast added: "Ten years ago we had a lot of good sightings, but in the last two or three years, they have tailed off. What we regard as a dependable sighting is very much down to the person who sees it....
Posted by:Mike

#5  BUT HEY, IFF SAMPLES OF SO-CALLED "EXTINCT" ANIMALS CAN STILL BE FOUND IN THE WILD, + RADIC ISLAMIST ZOMBIES, "NESSIE" PER SE MAY STILL LIVE!

Whoops! I certainly didn't see that coming, JosephM!
Posted by: trailing wife   2010-01-08 21:41  

#4  ...I for one shall always believe that Nessie will forever swim the waters of the Loch, and only those who believe in her will see her.

Mike
Posted by: Mike Kozlowski   2010-01-08 19:59  

#3  Meanwhile, inexplicably, prices have been slashed for Mahi-Mahi in Tesco stores throughout the UK.
Posted by: Anonymoose   2010-01-08 19:58  

#2  IIRC HISTORY CHANNEL/DISCOVERY > Presuming that NESSIE is indeed real, its ability to survive may had been severely hampered due to local construx of various small locks-n-dams leading into, out of Loch Ness, effec locking Nessie permanently in the Loch = vital external food sources.

Also, Nessie may had survived the eons due to inbreeding, which in turn would've reduced her natural genetic ability to survive environ stresses.

BUT HEY, IFF SAMPLES OF SO-CALLED "EXTINCT" ANIMALS CAN STILL BE FOUND IN THE WILD, + RADIC ISLAMIST ZOMBIES, "NESSIE" PER SE MAY STILL LIVE!
Posted by: JosephMendiola   2010-01-08 17:32  

#1  This is to the tune of "The Scottish Soldier" or Grunter's parody, "The Cyber Soldier"

LOCH NESS MONSTER

(Traditional; Arr., Iain C. MacKintosh/Hamish Imlach)

There was a monster, a Scottish monster
Who lives in far Loch Ness, a very fine address
All the hoteliers and postcard selliers
Are making fortunes every year

Folk see her cruising when they've been boozing
In the pale moonlight - what a fearful sight
And if you get fu', you might see her too
What a tale to tell your wife

I sing of a monster that lives in Loch Ness
She makes the headlines in the national press
Perhaps she's employed by the Daily Express
To separate tourists from money

And from England, France and Germany and places far and wide
With their cameras they hide behind the trees
Every year a new invasion's coming from a foreign nation
They crawl about the banks on hands and knees

And they've got submarines and diving-bells and all the latest gear
They come to hunt our Nessie with high hope
They go diving in the water but till now they haven't caught her
And she's down there laughing up their periscopes

They couldnae get a picture, a picture, a picture
They couldnae get a picture, she wouldn't put her head up
They couldnae get a picture, a picture, a picture
They couldnae get a picture, she wouldn't put her head up
They couldn't see the hump o' her, they couldn't see the rump o' her
They couldn't see the hump o' her, she wouldn't put her head up

There was a student, a Scottish student
Who blew up rubber tyres and strung them all with wires
He set them floating and sat there gloating
While folk took pictures by the score

And the whole world heard Nessie's name again
And the Tourist Board played its game again
Please don't tell them you heard me sing this song
And her name will live forever more
Posted by: Alaska Paul   2010-01-08 16:56  

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