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| -Lurid Crime Tales- |
| Northampton Woman Runs Down Lord Jesus Christ |
| 2010-05-07 |
| The victim has probably forgiven the woman who ran him down in a Northampton crosswalk. The police haven't. Police say a Pittsfield woman has been cited for running down Lord Jesus Christ as he crossed the street in Northampton. Officers responding to Tuesday's incident checked the 50-year-old Belchertown man's ID and discovered that, indeed, Lord Jesus Christ is his legal name. He was taken to the hospital for treatment of minor facial injuries. Police say 20-year-old Brittany Cantarella was cited for failing to yield to a pedestrian in a crosswalk. Jesus lives in Belchertown, doo-dah, doo-dah. |
| Posted by: Anonymoose |
| #6 Massachusetts. The Pioneer Valley. Amherst, Northampton, etc...where all the clocks stopped in, like, 1969. In some places the clocks stopped even before that. Legend is that some of Dan Shays' men are still hiding out in the Pelham Hills. Men like the oddly named Plough Jogger, who said "I have been greatly abused, have been obliged to do more than my part in the war; been loaded with class rates, town rates, province rates, Continental rates and all rates...been pulled and hauled by sheriffs, constables and collectors, and had my cattle sold for less than they were worth...The great men are going to get all we have and I think it is time for us to rise and put a stop to it, and have no more courts, nor sheriffs, nor collectors nor lawyers." |
| Posted by: Anguper Hupomosing9418 2010-05-07 14:48 |
| #5 Northampton, MA, is also known as the stomping ground of a legion of lesbians, who converge there, like gay men do on Castro Street in San Francisco. |
| Posted by: Anonymoose 2010-05-07 14:22 |
| #4 That can't be Jesus he was just born Woman says she became pregnant after watching porn in 3D |
| Posted by: Beavis 2010-05-07 12:44 |
| #3 Massachusetts. The Pioneer Valley. Amherst, Northampton, etc...where all the clocks stopped in, like, 1969. Belchertown used to have a state "hospital". But since the whole valley's pretty much an open air nuthouse, the state figured it was redundant and closed it down. Which is how you end up with Lord Jesus Christ getting hit by a car in Northampton. |
| Posted by: tu3031 2010-05-07 12:04 |
| #2 My bad, looks like its the US. The Northampton bit fooled me. |
| Posted by: rjschwarz 2010-05-07 11:49 |
| #1 Okay, beyond the quirky last name I would think it would be illegal to name your child (or have your name changed) to Lord since that is a title with some meaning in the UK. |
| Posted by: rjschwarz 2010-05-07 11:48 |