[Al Arabiya Latest] The Islamic satellite channel al-Daleel announced the groundbreaking launch of a new express service that delivers fatwas round the clock to Muslims during the holy month of Ramadan."Fatwas R' Us". How can I help you?
Yeah, my old lady's being a pain in the ass.
Mullah Mahmoud, you wanna take this one....
Al-Daleel TV, supervised by prominent Saudi cleric Sheikh Salman al-Oouda, issued a statement declaring that the final touches of its new show Fatwa of the Hour are in place and that it is ready to launch on the first day of Ramadan, which falls on August 11 this year.
This hour's fatwa: 3 in 1 Oil. Lubricant of Satan...
The new show is 10 minutes long and will be aired every hour. Each episode, which will be aired live, will feature inquiries via mobile text messages and phone calls and a guest who will answer them on the spot.
We'll be back in an hour, right after "Sweating to the Oldies"...
The new fatwa express show, the statement added, aims at offering a fast service for Muslims whose request for religious edicts generally increases in the holy month.
Fast service fast about fasts and fasting...
"In Ramadan, Muslims have several inquiries about issues like what invalidates fasting, when is it allowed to exceptionally break the fast, and so on," said Abdel Rahman Qaed, head of the channel's Scientific Affairs Department, in a press statement.
Did ya eat already?
Ummmmmm...yes.
Oooooh, boy...looks like you're going to hell.
Qaed added that the purpose of airing the show every hour is to make sure all inquires are answered without delay.
Hi! We're back! This hours fatwa: Ramadan stampede do's and don't's...
"We feel it is our duty to offer clear answers to matters that are sometimes ambiguous for many Muslims and to do so promptly," he added.
Hey. Ambiguous. Like an explosion in Gaza...
Qaed declined to reveal the names of guests to be hosted in the show, but stressed that they are all very well-established and trust-worthy scholars whose names are linked to rational interpretation, extensive knowledge, and power of speech.
Hey! It's Jerry Lewis!!!