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| -Short Attention Span Theater- |
| Biden Vows to Jump Canyon by Amtrak - Iowahawk |
| 2011-02-10 |
| GRAND CANYON, AZ - Standing on the rim of the gaping two-mile wide chasm of the Grand Canyon in a star-spangled jumpsuit, Joe Biden today announced a new $53 billion federal high speed rail program that will include funding for "SkyTrain X-2," a new experimental locomotive that, if successful, will make him the first known U.S. Vice President to jump the Grand Canyon by rail. "This is a big fucking deal - a big fucking deal," explained Biden. "And I wouldn't have volunteered for this mission if I didn't have complete confidence in Amtrak, my good buddy [US Transportation Secretary] Ray LaHood, and Four Loko - the official energy drink of SkyTrain X-2." |
| Posted by:Beavis |
| #7 Your typing therapy has mostly been working, dear Redneck Jim. An occasional setback is only to be expected. |
| Posted by: trailing wife 2011-02-10 22:16 |
| #6 Shit, fingers not co-operating tonight, Sorry. |
| Posted by: Redneck Jim 2011-02-10 21:52 |
| #5 Considering that recently Solar Cells are able to put out 30% istead of the usual 5% it's POSSIBLE But PRACTICAL hell no You'd need a perpetual armed Guard to prevent those Multi Billion Dollar Solar Cell arrays from walking off just to begin with. Possibly if you Put them on active armed forces bases (Oh right the armed forces are a NO NO) And the first aircraft blinded by the glae would sue them into oblivion. Perhaps the childrn need Nappys and th adults should take oer, NAAH can't happen |
| Posted by: Redneck Jim 2011-02-10 21:41 |
| #4 The first line will connect the bustling industrial hubs of Detroit and Cleveland. In other news, VP Biden has been banned from ever again watching Supertrain. |
| Posted by: George Thetch6690 2011-02-10 20:18 |
| #3 Next breakthrough will be solar powered submarines. |
| Posted by: Anguper Hupomosing9418 2011-02-10 20:07 |
| #2 Well, Frank, the administration can't have any new subways that are powered by icky oil. And the unicorn fart project is way behind projections, so they have to use solar. |
| Posted by: Rambler in Virginia 2011-02-10 18:08 |
| #1 Biden said the jump was only the first phase in a comprehensive multi-decade federal plan to cement US global leadership in light rail, subways, high speed land trains, airborne trains, undersea trains, and intergalactic trains. The $53 billion program announced today would begin with the building of a complex criss-crossing national rail network, the crown jewel of which will be the 'Sustainability Express' subterranean solar train, providing non-stop service between Wilmington, DE and Scranton, PA. "When it is finished in 2046, it will shave nearly 15 minutes off the comparable driving time between Wilmington and Scranton," boasted the Vice President. Construction of two additional non-stop solar subway lines connecting Wilmington with Sioux City, IA and Macon, GA will begin in 2013. Biden said the ultimate goal of the project is time travel. unfortunately, I could see this administration dump $50 or $75 billion in a solar subway line |
| Posted by: Frank G 2011-02-10 15:46 |