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Syria-Lebanon-Iran
Iran to remove fuel from Bushehr nuclear plant
2011-02-27
[Asharq al-Aswat] Iran said on Saturday it is removing the fuel from the reactor of a Russian-built nuclear power plant, a move seen as a big blow to its controversial nuclear programme.
Oh dear. It sounds like they might be having a challenge or two. Possibly even an actual problem.
"Ardeshir, is there a problem with the reactor?"
"Who can tell, Mehdi? The control screens show no data, just skulls and crossbones, and they keep flashing 'Game Over'!"
"Ummm... That's a bad sign, isn't it?"
"I dunno. There's nothing about it in the manual."
The decision to remove the fuel from the reactor of the nuclear plant in the southern city of Bushehr comes just months before the facility -- which has seen a roller-coaster ride since its construction began in the 1970s -- was scheduled to generate electricity.
Gosh. That's... carry the 17 and add 23 ... why that's about four decades! Building inspectors can get persnickety, they can indeed.
You oughta see the fire marshals when they get goin'!
"Based on the recommendation of Russia, which is in charge of completing the Bushehr atomic power plant, the fuel inside the reactor core will be taken out for a while to conduct some experiments and technical work," Iran's envoy to the UN atomic watchdog, Ali Asghar Soltanieh, told the ISNA news agency.
"What're you doing with that fuel rod?"
"Experimenting. It's technical. You wouldn't understand. Hand me that claw hammer."
"After the experiments, it will again be installed in the core of the reactor."
... assuming it still fits, of course.
He did not specify when the experiments would be completed.
Take a decade or two to make sure everything is all right. We wouldn't want a Chernobyl poisoning the dust of Persia...
"Is the experiment over yet?"
"Another day or two. What's the matter with your dorsal tendril? It's drooping."
Iran had started loading the fuel into the reactor in October after the "physical launch" of the plant by Moscow on August 21.
Then they stopped.
In January, Iran's former atomic chief Ali Akbar Salehi said the plant would be ready to generate electricity on April 9 after operations began in November.
"Yep. We're all set to go!"
"Those workers... They've turned bright green! And one has a pseudopod!"
"Nothing to be concerned about. Just part of our Hire the Handicapped program!"
The decision to remove the fuel rods, also supplied by Russia, is the latest setback in the more than three-decade old history of the plant, which was first launched by the US-backed shah using contractors from German company Siemens.
"Somewhere in Persia... there's a budding reactor that'll get a whole country moving again!"
But it was shelved when the shah was ousted in the Islamic revolution of 1979 and it lay unfinished through the 1980s
"Fritz, we're cutting the reactor project!"
"I'll start polishing my resume. When's cut day?"
"Today."
"Can I use your typewriter?"
as Iran battled internal opposition and a devastating eight-year war with Iraq.
[BANG! BANG! BANGETY BANG!]
"Aaaaiiieeee!"
"Gas! Gas!"
[KABOOM!]
It was revived in the late 1980s after current supreme leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei succeeded revolutionary leader Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini.
"Is the old man dead yet?"
[Nudge!] [Nudge!] "I think so!"
"Let's try that nuclear thing again!"
In the early 1990s, Iran sought help for the project after being turned away by Siemens over nuclear proliferation concerns.
"What part of 'nein' don't you understand?"
In 1994, Russia agreed to complete the plant and provide the fuel, with the supply deal committing Iran to returning the spent fuel.
"You vill pay in hard currency? No rubles? No Jamaican money?"
A deal was finally signed in January 1995 after 18 months of negotiations and preliminary accords.
"These dollars... They're not the same color as the other dollars!"
"The Pyongyang Central Bank assures us they're perfectly good!"
That was just the start of a spate of delays and setbacks, as the Russian contractor was repeatedly forced to postpone completion.
"The work has slowed down again!"
"Yuri spilled chai on those dollars and the colors ran!"
In 2007, Russian contractor Atomstroiexport even accused Iran of falling behind in its payments, further jeopardising the project's completion.
"The edges aren't even straight on these dollars!"
"Try these. See if they work!"
"There's no 'W' in 'Federal Reserve,' dammit!"
But finally on August 21 last year, Russian and Iranian engineers declared the physical launch of the plant, a move undertaken despite Moscow hardening its stance against Tehran's nuclear programme by voting for a new sanctions resolution at the UN Security Council.
"Comrade... I mean Citizen Director! The check cleared!"
The West, which suspects Iran's nuclear programme is cover for a weapons drive -- a charge vehemently denied by Tehran -- does not see Bushehr as posing any "proliferation risk," however.
Israel disagrees, but nobody admits to caring about that.
The plant has faced hiccups even after its physical launch,
"Ardeshir! Quick! The radiation mop!"
"Not again!"
with officials blaming the delays in generating electricity on a range of factors, including Bushehr's "severe weather."
Bushehr creates its own special climate, you see. It's a special, magical place.
But they deny it was hit by the malicious Stuxent computer worm which struck industrial computers in Iran, although they acknowledge that the personal computers of some personnel at Bushehr were infected with it.
"Oh, yeah! Those screens always show those skull and crossbones things!"
In January, The New York Times reported
... and if you can't believe the Noo Yawk Times who can you believe?
that US and Israeli intelligence services collaborated to develop the Stuxnet virus to sabotage Iran's nuclear programme and the Bushehr plant could have been one of the targets.
"c0dfi$h, where are you targeting that virus?"
"Not Bushehr, that's for sure!"
On Saturday, Nasser Rastkhah, head of Iran's nuclear safety system, reiterated to state news agency IRNA that Stuxnet had "no effect on the controls of the Bushehr atomic plant."
"Not that we know of, anyway. We haven't dared turn the blessed thing on yet."
Bushehr is a pressurised water reactor with a capacity to produce 1,000 megawatts of power.

It was constructed by more than 2,000 Russian engineers and workers living in a purpose-built village near the site.

Iran, which has some of the world's largest oil and gas reserves, says it wants to develop nuclear power so it can use those reserves judiciously.
The tailor's children go unclothed, the shoemaker children go barefoot...and the owners of the oilfields are powered by something other than the country's cash crop.
Posted by:Fred

#6  I hereby take back everything bad that I ever posted here about George W Bush when I was upset with him because he wouldn't bomb Iran. It's still unclear if he knew it would turn out this way or if he merely trusted in good fortune. But it does seem the combination of Russians, Iranians and maybe just a little bit of Israeli software mischief have left a useless pile of radioactive junk in the city of Bushehr. It's so much more subtle than bombing and it makes the Iranians look like such a bunch of fools. It's the feel good story of the year.
Posted by: Abu Uluque   2011-02-27 22:07  

#5  Cough/stuxxnet./Cough.
Posted by: Lionel Unoluger6791   2011-02-27 19:40  

#4  Iranian techs couldn't understand the "This end on top" notation on the fuel rods.
Posted by: CincinnatusChili   2011-02-27 17:30  

#3  The NYTimes has a substantive article on this.

There are about 160 fuel rods to be removed. Each one requires special handling, storage, etc. after being removed. Then after removal, everything has to be tested, lots of re- calibrations done, etc.

In a few months, the computer screen could ultimately read,

"Game Over".
Posted by: Lord Garth   2011-02-27 16:02  

#2  Seems like the perfect time to quote some classic Trek:

al-Kirk: "More Power, I need more power!"'

al-Scotty: "I'm givin' 'er all she's goot Catain, I don'a think she'll take much more!"

al-Kirk: "Allah willing, she will."

al-Spock: " Captain, this in'st logical, but all we do in the name of the Great One isn't logical. I concur, she will hold together."

al-McCoy: "Dammit Jim, I'm a drunk, not a martyr, shut it down."
Posted by: USN,Ret   2011-02-27 13:32  

#1  "OK, people, final checklist! Cooling pumps?"
"Pumps at maximum, the board is green!"
"Control rods"
"Control rods at 100% engaged!"
"Turbines?"
"Turbines at low spin on auxiliary power!"
"Water level?"
"Primary and all backup level indicators are green!"
"OK, here we go! Control rods to 90 percent!"
"Rods at ninety."
"Temperature?"
"All indicators showing ambient."
"Hmm. OK,, control rods to 70 percent! Temperature?"
"Still holding at ambient."
"Yuri, what the hell is going...Yuri? Hey, where the hell is Yuri!?"
Posted by: PBMcL   2011-02-27 10:36  

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