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-Lurid Crime Tales-
Korean War vet fights off burglar with frying pan and pitchfork
2011-04-15
The man told Smith to "gimme what you got" before shoving him to the ground and taking his wallet, according to the police report. That didn't stop Smith, who said he "went back after him." He grabbed the nearest weapon, while Sones grabbed for something else to give him.

"I grabbed the frying pan and hit him upside the head. I knocked his teeth out ... and he went to the floor," Smith said. "There was a pitchfork about six feet away. ... I stuck him."

Hit in the head and stuck in the side, the intruder ran, "bleeding on the way out."
Posted by:tu3031

#13  ...pitchfork control coming soon to a county near you. Won't be like the old days when you could just waltz into a Home Depot and pick one up. Nope. It's not like politicians were ever fond of them to begin with. Dangerous in the hands of the wrong people, like voters.
Posted by: Procopius2k   2011-04-15 23:37  

#12  Many a farmer has killed a mad-dog with a pitchfork. Keep one under your bed.
Posted by: Glalet Hapsburg3231   2011-04-15 20:05  

#11  If anyone bothers to look that is
Posted by: abu do you love   2011-04-15 17:41  

#10  I read that they didn't catch the guy but the K9 found his wallet. Also, he was cooking dinner at the time in the pan he hit the guy with so it was also nice and hot. A guy with pitchfork punctures in his side, knocked out teeth and probably a nice burn on his face shouldn't be too hard to find
Posted by: tu3031   2011-04-15 17:21  

#9  And a longer handle to balance the weight so it is good as your serve is. The use of a dangerous instrument is third degree assault, might as well make it count
Posted by: Fi   2011-04-15 13:17  

#8  Well, the rough rule of thumb for buying kitchenware and cooking tools is that it ought to be heavy enough to kill someone with...
Posted by: Sgt. Mom   2011-04-15 12:01  

#7  And now for a little 'SkilletP*rn'...

One nice item would be the L10SK3 as it adds the 'two-fisted' option for your home defence needs.
Posted by: Mullah Richard   2011-04-15 11:14  

#6  It gets better. I've read elsewhere that when the police showed up, they brought a K-9 unit. They caught the perp, though didn't say how much they caught him.

However, no details have yet been released about him.
Posted by: Anonymoose   2011-04-15 11:03  

#5  'cuse me while I laugh my ass off.
Posted by: DarthVader   2011-04-15 10:43  

#4  Here in New Jersey it is impossible to get a concealed frying pan permit. I am thinking of moving to Florida and getting a nice 12 inch cast iron.
Posted by: Steven    2011-04-15 09:26  

#3  Somehow I just can't generate any sympathy for the little goblin.
Posted by: CrazyFool   2011-04-15 08:54  

#2  Being stuck with a pitchfork is extremely bad karma. He's looking at tetanus or peritonitis, and will likely show up at a hospital with a high fever about 48 hours after the game. Unless they pump something like a butt load of penicillin through him, he is going to die the bad way.
Posted by: Anonymoose   2011-04-15 08:09  

#1  Gran Torino - movie

Walt Kowalski: Yeah? I blow a hole in your face and then I go in the house... and I sleep like a baby. You can count on that. We used to stack f***s like you five feet high in Korea... use ya for sandbags.
Posted by: momble   2011-04-15 03:49  

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