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-Short Attention Span Theater-
Drunken Sailor Makes Naval History (And Not In a Good Way)
2012-02-06
An intoxicated sailor who walked into the wrong apartment in Bremerton, urinated on the floor and then climbed into bed with an 80-year-old woman probably won't face criminal charges, according to the Kitsap County Sheriff's Office.

The 21-year-old, identified as Dalton C. Pierson, was drinking and playing video games at a friend's apartment in 7600 block of Vineyards Lane Northeast early Sunday when he left and mistakenly walked into a neighbor's home, according to the Sheriff's Office.
Good work, Sparky. Your inspiring story's probably going viral right now. And thanks to this little thing called the interwebs, your daring deed is immortalized for all time.
Evelyn Whitney said she had been fast asleep when the stranger climbed into bed with her. She screamed and asked him what he was doing, according to the sheriff's report. Pierson answered, "passing out."
Gotta give our hero a speck of credit for having THAT much presence of mind. Guess it was dark enough that he couldn't see his bedmate, though...
Scott Wilson, a spokesman for the Sheriff's Office, said the sailor was released to his friends. Pierson is stationed at Naval Base Kitsap -- Bangor. The incident report has been forwarded to the Kitsap County Prosecutor's Office, but Wilson said it's unlikely Pierson would face criminal charges.

The apartment that Pierson had been visiting and Whitney's apartment look alike and Whitney's door was unlocked, he said. The young man's actions were "drunken stupidity," but they don't appear to meet the elements of a crime, Wilson said.
Between increased strictness on alcohol/drug related shenanigans and the upcoming wave of RIFs, our hero has enough to worry about from Sam's Canoe Club. Even in the Navy, it's rare to LITERALLY p!$$ away one's career.
Posted by:Snish Unesh7533

#14  Now Sgt. Mom now that was a good story!.
Posted by: Dale   2012-02-06 22:58  

#13  Oh, heck - I was actually present when something even more embarrassing than this happened: at Sondrestrom AB, Greenland. They were renovating the building which housed the military women and the mid-rank NCOs, and so moved us all into a long, long, two-story all-ranks barrack building which also was the Temp-housing facility. There was a male latrine, and a female latrine side by side, about every twenty rooms... and one evening, there were three of us in the female latrine, performing our late evening ablutions, when one of male NCOs opened the door, staggered past two of us at the sinks, unzipped trou and performed an act of nature against a blank tiled wall - which in the mens latrine contained the urinals - before either one of us had a chance to point out that he had the wrong latrine. He zipped up and staggered out again while the two of us (and the girl who was taking a shower) could do anything but stand there. (Eh - we'd all been married, it wasn't like we saw anything we hadn't seen before ... just not against a blank wall.)
Ten minutes later, I finished my shower and went down the hallway again, and saw him in the hallway talking to a couple of friends, and I said, "Hey ____, have you figured out the main difference between the mens and the womens latrines, yet?"
I have never, ever seen a human being turn so red in the face. It was all over Sondrestrom in 24 hours - even the Base Commander hunted me down at Commander's call to confirm if it was true. That guy never heard the end of it: he was the Golden Spike Winner for that month (an award for having made yourself the biggest a-hole on base).

Yep, young Pierson will never, ever hear the last of this, either. With luck, he will live it down ... eventually.
Posted by: Sgt. Mom   2012-02-06 19:00  

#12  Broadhead6: are you my ex-husband? :0
Posted by: RandomJD   2012-02-06 17:43  

#11  "The young man's actions were "drunken stupidity," but they don't appear to meet the elements of a crime..."

-story of my life right there.
Posted by: Broadhead6   2012-02-06 16:38  

#10  Captain's daughter looks like an orangutan...early in the morning.
Posted by: Ebbang Uluque6305   2012-02-06 13:30  

#9  Didn't anyone read the happy ending?

Pierson apologized and promised to pay the cleaning bill when he returned to the apartment with his supervising officer, they said.

Jaeger said he was pleased to see that "the kid was totally humiliated, as he should be," and to learn that the Navy intended to discipline him.

Whitney, meanwhile, said she was very impressed because Pierson's supervising officer "made him sit down and listen while I scolded him," she said. "After that, I felt much better."

Justice has been served.
Posted by: RandomJD   2012-02-06 12:57  

#8  Reminds me of the time my barracks-mate came in late drunk, pissed on his own stereo, then passed out.

When we told him what he had done the next morning, much hilarity ensued.
Posted by: LeighG   2012-02-06 11:15  

#7  Now that was a good story. P2k that was a favorite video of mine also. 21, yup thats something someone trashed drunk might do and forget all about it.
Posted by: Dale   2012-02-06 09:19  

#6  Being a Bangor squid, he is probably also a buble head, and this won't look good for his future, even if no charges are pressed.

Doubtful that Granny will bring around any trays of cookies either....
Posted by: USN, Ret.   2012-02-06 09:15  

#5  I might ask him to clean the piss of my floor.
Posted by: bigjim-CA   2012-02-06 08:51  

#4  OK, someone has to do IT.
Posted by: Procopius2k   2012-02-06 08:45  

#3  What!? Back in my service days we called that kind of thing "Friday and Saturday."
Posted by: AlmostAnonymous5839   2012-02-06 04:07  

#2  it's unlikely Pierson would face criminal charges

His CPO, on the other hand is going to have a celebration
Posted by: g(r)omgoru   2012-02-06 03:07  

#1  Amazing. Must be early in the year where they don't feel pressure to fulfil the annual quota of sex offenders.
Posted by: gromky   2012-02-06 02:18  

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