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-Short Attention Span Theater-
Deer attacks two men, then takes man's cigarettes
2012-11-21
Whitehouse, Texas -- Joseph Rose and Cole Kellis were leaving their home in Whitehouse on Friday morning when they noticed a deer in their front yard.
Awwww! He's so cute!"
Rose approached the deer and he says the deer seemed friendly.
"I just wanna pet him! And hug him! And.."
But then Kellis and Rose say the deer then charged them and started to attack.
"Cole! Look out! He's gonna -- [TRAMPLE TRAMPLE TRAMPLE!]"
Rose and Kellis ran to Rose's pick-up truck
"I'M OUTTA HERE!"
"Outta my way!"

to try to get away from the wild buck. The deer then "poked" Rose in his ribs,
"[GOUGE!] Owwww! Back off, Bambi!"
so Rose jumped out of his truck into the back-bed.
"I didn't 'jump!' Bambi pushed me!"
Rose says he left his driver-side door open and the deer climbed in and took his pack of cigarettes that were sitting in his center console.
"My gaspers! Those things are six dollars a pack!"
"Look out! He's got a match!"

The deer starting eating Rose's smokes,
"Mmmmm! Cancer sticks! My favorite!"
and when Rose tried to get them back, Rose says the deer got more aggressive.
"Gimme my smokes!"
[GOUGE! TRAMPLE!]

They then had to call Whitehouse police
"Operator! Get me the police!"
and the Game Warden.
"Operator! Get me the game warden!"
When police arrived they had to tase the deer
"Look out! He's got antlers!"
[ZAP!]

and then Rose says it took more than 5 men to restrain the buck.
"Mahoney! Didn't they anybody ever tell you: never tase a buck? Cheese! Whadda they teach in cop school these days?"
Posted by:Au Auric

#11  Recently laid-off from Santa's Workshop to cut costs.
Posted by: Charles   2012-11-21 21:01  

#10  Don't mess with Texas deer! When I saw the headline, I just knew it had to be some fellow Texas yahoos.
Posted by: Brujotejano   2012-11-21 14:26  

#9  Pack of Bucky Strikes.
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Posted by: Shipman   2012-11-21 13:42  

#8  Stupid clerk at the local 7-11 wouldn't sell him any because he wasn't 21 (points)....
Posted by: CrazyFool   2012-11-21 12:01  

#7  the deer climbed in and took his pack of cigarettes

Pack of Bucky Strikes.
Posted by: swksvolFF   2012-11-21 11:59  

#6  Mule deer...
Posted by: Glenmore   2012-11-21 08:59  

#5  We been hearin' stories about deer workin' for the Sinaloa Cartel, buncha crazy drug killers...
Maybe he was a mule (snicker).
Posted by: ed in texas   2012-11-21 06:54  

#4  Five men?

My 7 mm Rem would have done it. A lot quicker.
Posted by: no mo uro   2012-11-21 04:33  

#3  Fred just lies in wait like Honey-Badger on these.
Posted by: Shipman   2012-11-21 04:32  

#2  Thank You : CrazyFool, but I can only say, I found the article and Fred and Company did the editorial....

You know they are the experts that bring the Rant to Rantburg.

All Hale, Rantburg and Company !!!
Posted by: Au Auric   2012-11-21 00:51  

#1  Excellent in-line commentary Au!
Posted by: CrazyFool   2012-11-21 00:39  

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