I rest my case.
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| Britain |
| Shitsville: Travel guide pokes fun at just about everywhere in UK |
| 2013-10-07 |
| [DAILYSTAR.CO.UK] A few samples... CARLISLE: "People who have failed at real life move to Carlisle to hide themselves away in shame. It is so far north that every time the map is redrawn we try and sneak it into Scotland, but the bastards are too sharp for that and keep amending the lines. Even though it's in Cumbria, it's nowhere near the pretty bits with all the lakes." CAMBRIDGE: "Cambridge is a rotten and diseased coagulation of reeking, uneducated, inbred libertines with more money than brain cells -- and that's just the University. Here, gout is the ultimate status symbol. The race to gout is a furiously competitive one and there are only so many bottles of oak-aged port you can drink in one sitting, so foie gras actually comes-on tap in Cambridge. You get three taps in the kitchen: hot water, cold water, and liquidised goose livers harvested from birds force-fed corn until their internal organs implode." LIVERPOOL: "It would be easy to attack Liverpudlians for being violent misogynistic thieves, feral savages without culture or even basic human decency. This is categorically not true. It is their children that are just plain f****** evil. You remember those tiny weeny dinosaurs from Jurassic Park that hunt in big packs and eat the old guy with a white beard at the end? Yeah. Like that." THE CITY OF LONDON: "Five minutes walk away from the third world Borough of Hackney. In the City of London pudgy posh boys with quirky ties and horse teeth, fresh from the private school system, with no children, no social responsibility and each gifted with a sense of entitlement the size of Yorkshire (where many of them own land), earn thousands of pounds a minute for playing what is essentially a glorified game of dice." |
| Posted by:Fred |
| #4 Every country has a city they poke fun of. In America, its Detroit. In England, its Detroit. /Y.Smirnof |
| Posted by: swksvolFF 2013-10-07 14:23 |
| #3 These are fantastic! I see a great opportunity for an analogous travel guide to the US. |
| Posted by: Glenmore 2013-10-07 10:05 |
| #2 It's a little too kind. |
| Posted by: Bright Pebbles 2013-10-07 06:03 |
| #1 I visited the UK in 1994, I thought the same thing. In the City of London pudgy posh boys with quirky ties and horse teeth, fresh from the private school system I rest my case. |
| Posted by: Bertie Bonaparte9468 2013-10-07 00:27 |