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| Terror Networks |
| What's a Little Sodomy for Jihad? |
| 2013-12-11 |
| Now, at first I thought this was a hoax But it appears it isn’t. Apparently a fellow writing into a Jihadi chat show, wants to do “martyrdom operations.” The sheikh he talked to says they’ve got a great new technique to blow up infidels. We hide explosives up your butt. There’s just one hitch. You’ve got to be repeatedly sodomized in order to be able to accommodate the explosive. So, the questioner wants to know if it is permissible for him to be regularly rogered, if doing so makes his posterior more amenable to hiding explosives. The fellow on camera, Shiite cleric Abdallah Al-Khilaf, says that even though sodomy is forbidden if it is necessary for jihad, well, then it is required. Because jihad is the highest obligation. Now, what I find hilarious here is that it never occurs to anyone that there might be some kind of technological work-around short of repeated sodomy. You know, maybe there’s a device or a technique, something that is a little less unpleasant, inconvenient or forbidden than straight-up buggery? Nope. Gotta go with the sodomy. The Saturday Night Live skit writes itself. Jihadi: What if we make the bomb smaller? Sheikh: What? That’s crazy. Sodomy is the only way. Jihadi: Couldn’t I use replica of a male, well, you know. In private like . . . Sheikh: Shh! Let’s not even discuss it. Jihadi: What if I’m willing to tolerate a lot of discomfort when it comes time for the martyrdom operation? I mean, it’s my choice. I am blowing myself up after all. What’s a little discomfort? Sheikh: You’re not hearing me. This is the way it has to be. Don’t you want to murder infidels? |
| Posted by:Beavis |
| #14 Only if the distaff side of the family can strap on and spread the 'submission' around and/or deep. |
| Posted by: Procopius2k 2013-12-11 20:59 |
| #13 Touche, Sir Soul o' Wit I was inspired by your work. Or maybe it was channeling Winston Churchill... |
| Posted by: Pappy 2013-12-11 18:44 |
| #12 Kinda gives new meaning to 'taking one for the team'. |
| Posted by: SteveS 2013-12-11 16:39 |
| #11 #9 In other words, "thuggery requires buggery?" Touche, Sir Soul o' Wit. Um... surrendering requires rear-endering... opening your mind means opening your behind... submission requires... okay, this is creeping me out. All o' you, backwards! |
| Posted by: Zenobia Floger6220 2013-12-11 16:36 |
| #10 Arafat's Way |
| Posted by: Frank G 2013-12-11 15:10 |
| #9 In other words, "thuggery requires buggery?" |
| Posted by: Pappy 2013-12-11 14:42 |
| #8 Is it metaphor or is it metonymy To refer to the faithful as "sodomy?" In the night or the day You will find them at play As they practice Islamic "astronomy." The students would ask Sheik Yerbouti, "Is it holy to stretch your patootie?" "By G-d, I assure you, You'll be in deep doodoo, If you're lax in fulfilling your duty!" Mahomet the savior man Has shared Allan's master plan: "He likesk to hear boomins From bowlegged humans, So please take it up the can." [toot toot] |
| Posted by: Zenobia Floger6220 2013-12-11 13:58 |
| #7 Gamal to Abdul: Abdul, the imam says we can give up goat-herding. |
| Posted by: JohnQC 2013-12-11 13:30 |
| #6 I'm glad to discover there are stoopider people out there than American voters. |
| Posted by: Bobby 2013-12-11 13:22 |
| #5 "Sorry Mahmoud, but we've moved up the attack a few days. Your timetable has been moved up as well." "You mean..." "The soccer team will be here in thirty minutes." |
| Posted by: Pappy 2013-12-11 11:35 |
| #4 Thank you JFM, because, well... |
| Posted by: swksvolFF 2013-12-11 11:11 |
| #3 Was there a and it must be done in a holy mosque by a holy Iman. Praise Allah! in there somewhere? |
| Posted by: CrazyFool 2013-12-11 10:28 |
| #2 A regular in a French blog sublmitted this to a woman who speaks classic arabic and he claims she confirmed the translation. |
| Posted by: JFM 2013-12-11 07:54 |
| #1 Moslem values. Can't you just see the gleam in the eye of some big Sudanese as he of the magnificent Schwanzer ( or is that Fahnstchuker ), approaches the trembling Moslem fanny of the pious mujihedeen? And Allah smiles and watches. He's that kinda guy. Allah il Allah, Bupkiss. |
| Posted by: Spereting Tingle4064 2013-12-11 04:33 |