...Poliomyelitis is a disease caused by infection with the poliovirus. Between 1840 and the 1950s, polio was a worldwide epidemic. Since the development of polio vaccines the disease has been largely wiped out in the civilized world. However, since the vaccine is known to make Moslem pee-pees shrink and renders females sterile, bookish, and unsubmissive it is not widely used by the turban and automatic weapons set...
drive starting across Bajaur Agency, aka Turban Central
...Smallest of the agencies in FATA. The Agency administration is located in Khar. Bajaur is inhabited almost exclusively by Tarkani Pashtuns, which are divided into multiple bickering subtribes. Its 52 km border border with Afghanistan's Kunar Province makes it of strategic importance to Pakistain's strategic depth...from Monday due to security reasons.
... because they have cooties.
This was informed by field supervisor medical officer Dr Inayatur Rehman while talking to news hounds here on Friday. He informed that 694 teams had been formed to vaccinate 223,286 children in the agency during the anti-polio drive.
"E-e-e-e-e-w! Girls! Yuck!"
Mr Rehman said that earlier the anti-polio drive was scheduled to start on August 18, but had been postponed due to non-delivery of vaccine from the National institute of Health, Islamabad, because of the protest sit-ins in the federal capital.
Meanwhile,
...back at the the conspirators' cleverly concealed hideout Montefiore's foot was still stuck and the hound had completely soaked his uniform with slobber...
a meeting chaired by Bajaur political agent Syed Abdul Jabbar Shah discussed arrangements for the vaccination campaign, security of polio workers and overall security situation of the agency. Agency surgeon Dr Zakir Hussain and officials of local administration, health department, WHO and Unicef were in attendance.
The participants were informed that overall law and order situation in the agency was satisfactory and that there were no threats for polio workers.
Khar assistant political agent, Sohil Ahmed Khan told the meeting that tribal elders, members of peace committees and religious leaders had assured to make the anti-polio vaccination drive a success in the agency, especially in the border areas.
It was decided that two Levies personnel, a security forces man and a member of local peace committee would accompany each polio team to ensure their safety. It was also decided that strict action would be taken against those creating problems during the drive.On the occasion, political agent Jabbar Shah said the administration was adopting all possible means to achieve polio free status for the agency and sought assistance of health officials and WHO and Unicef in that regard.