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| -Short Attention Span Theater- |
| New 'Stupidity Virus' Discovered, Scientists Say |
| 2014-11-11 |
| [ABCNEWS.GO] The next time you lose your keys or bomb a test, try blaming it on a virus. Researchers from Johns Hopkins University and the University of Nebraska have discovered a virus that makes you just a little bit dumber. Wotta loada bull! The scientists stumbled upon the previously unknown "stupidity virus" in the throat cultures of healthy subjects during a completely unrelated experiment. The 44 percent of people who tested positive for the virus performed 7 to 9 points lower on IQ tests that measured attention span and how fast and accurately people process visual information. Always convenient to blame your lack of brain power on a virus. Or a djinn. When the Nebraska researchers injected the virus into the digestive systems of mice, same thing. The rodents blundered around mazes, appeared flummoxed by new toys and seemed oblivious to new entry ways in and out of their cages. In short, they acted a tiny bit stupider than the average mouse. Well, mice aren't that brite to start with, are they? âThis is a striking example showing that the âinnocuousâ microorganisms we carry can affect behavior and cognition,â said lead investigator Dr. Robert Yolken, a virologist and pediatric infectious disease specialist at the Johns Hopkins Childrenâs Center in Baltimore who led the study. Matter of face, mousies is purdy dumb. Yolken said this unintended study provides a good example of how behavior and psychology come down to more than the genes you inherit from your parents. Some of these traits may be shaped and influenced by the trillions of viruses, bacteria and fungi that colonize our bodies, he said. Well, I ain't blievin' dat viruses have an effect on conix... conni... kugnixion... brain power. Viruses are infectious agents that invade cells and replicate themselves within those cells, said Dr. Aaron E. Glatt, a spokesman for the Infectious Disease Society of America. Dey r? 'Mgonna keep a lookit out fer dem. Once they enter a host, they range from completely benign or, as is the case of the Ebola virus, they can be deadly. Bad virix! Gonna git me a virix swatter! Glatt said while he is skeptical of a virus can actually affect intelligence, he is keeping an open mind. Not me, coach. Y'keep an open mind, somethin' gonna fall out! âWe donât completely understand the full implications of viruses yet but they, obviously, can impact the functioning of cells and entire organism with a myriad of outcomes,â he said. Yeah. What he said. Keep a virix swatter close by. Yolken said this particular virus may work by changing the way genes are expressed in an area of the brain responsible for memory and other higher brain functions. He also said he has suspected for some time that viruses have ways of messing with human intelligence. Gonna get me one o' them Shell No-virix strips. Hang it in kish... ketchup... dining room. In previous studies, for example, his team found small but definite decreases in cognitive function after exposure to the common herpes simplex virus. Them herpies is bad nooze. The new research appears in the latest issue of the online journal, Proceedings of the National Academy of Science. |
| Posted by:Fred |
| #6 The things people will do to explain away their Obama vote in '08 and '12. |
| Posted by: CrazyFool 2014-11-11 23:51 |
| #5 Flowers for Shipman. |
| Posted by: gorb 2014-11-11 22:15 |
| #4 Looks to me like the 'scientists' who reported this lack basic reasoning skills. Or they are so publicity hungry they'd say or do anything for some air time. All they discovered was a CORRELATION between the presence of the virus (in the THROAT) and lower IQ. Did the virus cause the lower IQ? Or were dumber people more likely to engage in behavior that resulted in infection? Who knows? Any researcher with an ounce of integrity would have considered both hypotheses, not called a press conference. Johns Hopkins University and the University of Nebraska should be embarrassed by the poor quality of their personnel. And I don't think they can blame it on a virus. |
| Posted by: DLR 2014-11-11 20:34 |
| #3 Lol, Fred channels M4D channelling Algernon. |
| Posted by: Shipman 2014-11-11 19:14 |
| #2 No I think "progressives" have "hypoautism", or an excess of oxytocin, leading to excessive clique grouping, over-emotional behaviour, narcissism and dislike of order. |
| Posted by: Bright Pebbles 2014-11-11 17:35 |
| #1 Well it would explain progressives. |
| Posted by: DarthVader 2014-11-11 13:28 |