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Home Front: Culture Wars
'BARRY ONE' LAUNCHES LEGAL FUND; CONSIDERS SUIT AGAINST LENA DUNHAM
2014-12-07
[Breitbart] The man identified as "Barry One" in a Breitbart News investigation debunking Tawana Lena Dunham's story of being raped in college by a "mustachioed campus Republican" named Barry, has made his first official statement since the release of that report. Through his attorney, identified as Aaron Minc, Barry One has set up a legal fund to cover current legal expenses, clear his name, and to potentially file suit against Ms. Dunham.
Gents, think about this: Tawana Dunham's higher'n a kite on coke and drunk as a lord and she wants her horn swoggled. You're magickally 22 years old, single, and wearing beer goggles. Do you

  1. Fill her void?

  2. Go home alone and study for your fly fishing final?

Uhuh. Now part II. You wake up in a strange bed with a splitting headache, a half empty jar of mayonnaise on the nightstand. You're lying next to Tawana Dunham, who's rifled your pants, found your wallet, and is examining your voter's registration card. Do you

  1. Apologize profusely and leave, hoping the German shepherd's okay

  2. Tell her your name's Barry and check to make sure your false mustache is still glued on

  3. Become a homosexual on the spot

Sorry. This won't be graded on a curve.
The proceeds from the legal fund will be used only to cover Barry One's legal expenses. If there are any leftover monies, those will be donated to non-profit organizations that aid sexual assault victims.

For more than two months, and to no avail, Barry One has asked Dunham (through her representatives) to clear his name. Obviously, she has refused.

"All proceeds will be spent by Barry on legal costs and related fees associated with defending Barry's reputation," the statement reads, "including, but not limited to, potentially pursuing Lena Dunham and Penguin Random House for harm caused to Barry's reputation from the publication and sale of Ms. Dunham's memoir."

The statement adds that due to numerous details in Dunham's memoir that falsely point to him as her rapist, "Barry has already spent a substantial portion of his savings on legal fees because of the actions (and inactions) of Ms. Dunham and Penguin Random House."
Posted by:Fred

#9  image used by oberlin alt newspaper is here
Posted by: lord garth   2014-12-07 19:48  

#8  cuz she showered?
Posted by: Frank G   2014-12-07 19:03  

#7  actually compared to the average woman at Oberlin, she was probably at least an 8
Posted by: lord garth   2014-12-07 18:31  

#6  Four bagger, one for you one for her and two for anyone who happens to come into the room....

She would win the Moose Pot at any military ball I was ever at.
Posted by: Bill Clinton   2014-12-07 14:40  

#5  Apologize profusely and leave, hoping the German shepherd's okay

Tell her your name's Barry and check to make sure your false mustache is still glued on

Become a homosexual on the spot

Isn't there a "Chew your arm off so you don't wake it and jump out the window" option?
Posted by: gorb   2014-12-07 14:24  

#4  Cluque the Fragrant4330, you should post a warning before posting something like this---capisce?
Posted by: g(r)omgoru   2014-12-07 12:50  

#3  Beer goggles my a$$. She's a double bagger.
Posted by: BrerRabbit   2014-12-07 12:45  

#2  
Posted by: Cluque the Fragrant4330   2014-12-07 12:37  

#1  Gents, think about this: Tawana Dunham's higher'n a kite on coke and drunk as a lord and she wants her horn swoggled. You're magickally 22 years old, single, and wearing beer goggles.

Point of Order: In her case, the goggles do nothing.

Mike
Posted by: Mike Kozlowski   2014-12-07 11:56  

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