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Facts About the AR-15 |
2015-01-05 |
![]() Facts About the AR-15 * The inventor of the AR-15 was Satan, though his patent has since expired. * Scientists have confirmed the deadly effects of an AR-15 by giving it to a chimpanzee who then murdered them. * Scientists agree that each year the AR-15 will grow more deadly until it kills everyone in the entire world. * Some believe that Hitler was in fact an AR-15 in a rubber mask. * In the Garden of Eden, God gave Adam and Eve access to every firearm out there except for the AR-15 which he told them not to touch because it was too evil. But then the NRA, in the guise of a serpent, told Eve that the AR-15 is really fun to shoot. So then Eve took the AR-15 and started shooting all the animals in the garden because she is one awesome chick. * The part that makes the AR-15 so extra deadly is the handle on top. The AR-15 would be used in less murders if it were more inconvenient to carry. * It was an AR-15 that told Miley Cyrus to dance like that. * Bullets that are normally harmless will kill instantly when fired out of the AR-15. * The reason AR-15s have that prominent handle on them is because the most requested feature for an assault rifle was to be able to carry it like a Hello Kitty lunch box. * If you find yourself surrounded by AR-15's, know that they will fire automatically if they sense fear. * The AR-15 is easily concealable and can fit inside a matchbox. * The AR-15 is the leading cause of global warming from how its bullets shoot holes in the ozone. * A very small percentage of gun deaths are attributed to the AR-15 because it is very good at disguising itself as other guns to frame them. * What are the differences between an M16 and an AR-15? Scientists agree that it is something. * The AR-15 can be rendered harmless by giving it only a 10 round magazine as people always miss with the first ten rounds and an AR-15 takes an hour and a half to reload. * The AR-15 can shoot through schools. * In a battle between Aquaman and an AR-15, Aquaman would break down and buy it so people might think he’s more manly. * There were no shooting deaths until the invention of an AR-15. No one even considered using a gun to shoot another human being until someone saw an AR-15 and said, "I bet I could use this to kill a lot of people." * There was an assault musket similar to the AR-15 used by the world’s most evil pirates, but it was pronounced "Arrr-15." * The Assault Weapon ban was needed because it is well known that an AR-15 with both a pistol grip and a flash suppressor would be unstoppable by any modern military. * In Europe there is no such thing as an AR-15 and thus also no such thing as murders. Instead of being violent, people there just drink wine and smoke cigarettes all day. * If you are shot by an AR-15, you become one and kill others. * The AR-15 is responsible for 95% of all deaths each year. The rest of the deaths are from obesity and drone strikes. |
Posted by:badanov |
#15 I would venture the troops in Iraq, Afghanistan and Syria (?) would prefer to have weapon that would TU a bad guy at 300 clicks instead of 50. |
Posted by: Mystic 2015-01-05 22:20 |
#14 M-14 is one helluva rifle, in all its iterations. |
Posted by: badanov 2015-01-05 21:53 |
#13 silentbrick I did do that, but is was a 7.62 M-60 with a sling, them bitches be heavy. |
Posted by: Thor Omack8327 2015-01-05 21:05 |
#12 Oh I knew about M1 Thumb before it happened. But I didn't truly understand til that bolt slammed forward and smashed my thumb. JFM, please provide video proof of your awesomeness. The video must include you holding the 52kg M2HB unsupported with a full 105 rnd belt attached, firing said belt while remaining upright and standing with no outside support and managing to keep at least 25% of rounds on target at let's say 100 yards just to be nice and fair. |
Posted by: Silentbrick 2015-01-05 19:52 |
#11 With iron peepsight, no optics, just 26 clicks of elevation. |
Posted by: NoMoreBS 2015-01-05 13:16 |
#10 M-14, 7.62mm, 11 3/4 lbs fully loaded. At 500 yards shot 20 out of 20 in a D (upper torso) from a prone position. There is a reason SpecOps folks have taken to using it for medium range, target dense sniper ops. |
Posted by: NoMoreBS 2015-01-05 13:12 |
#9 Put your AR-15 in your SUV and you have the Ultimate Killing Machine... |
Posted by: tu3031 2015-01-05 12:23 |
#8 It's called the 'M1 Thumb' Silent Brick. You were no the first I assure you. |
Posted by: Besoeker 2015-01-05 11:48 |
#7 They forgot the can opener and the finger nail trimmer. Personally, any time we are in a conflict in an open environment such as the ME, we really should be using something that can reach out and touch someone at 300+ yards. I qualified the first time on the M-1 and we were expected to pop man sized silhouettes at 300 meters. The M-16 is a freaking pop gun. I hated it when I carried it and thought it was a lousy weapon and a terrible club. |
Posted by: Mystic 2015-01-05 11:43 |
#6 Funny. Love the pic, gonna stab somebody with that tactical flashlight? Surprised there are no wheels on the bipod. I heard the triangular forward sight was designed to impale baby seals. |
Posted by: swksvolFF 2015-01-05 09:51 |
#5 Pussies. Real men fire the Ma Deuce from the hip. |
Posted by: JFM 2015-01-05 07:44 |
#4 Much as I love my AR-10, I have even more fondness for it's granddaddy, the M-1 Garand. I've never shot a gun that felt more 'right' than the M-1, even if it did try to take my thumb off. (And no, I'll never stick my thumb in there again. Man, talk about ouchies and swollen thumbs that need a hole poked through the nail to fix.) |
Posted by: Silentbrick 2015-01-05 06:25 |
#3 Bah, the AR-15 is NOTHING compared to it's big brother, the dreaded and evil AR-10! It's so evil, my wife says the holographic sight on it makes it so easy to shoot "It's cheating. You just put the red cross on the target and boom, it hits." |
Posted by: Silentbrick 2015-01-05 06:22 |
#2 When Chuck Norris held it it pa'd itself. |
Posted by: BrerRabbit 2015-01-05 05:13 |
#1 I'm glad we now have all of those myths cleared up. Thanks OP. |
Posted by: tipover 2015-01-05 00:54 |